Mr Murphy’s at it again!

I absolutely love baking. My cakes come out awesome when I do it for fun or in a relaxed manner. Contrary to the rest of my life, my cakes go poof when I hurry or am under any pressure. This is the main reason why I have never thought of starting it as a business.

This Friday was T’s 34th birthday and I have been studying and planning the cake for almost two weeks. The shape, colours, design and flavours were all planned. (For the record I wanted to make a 4 layer naked gooeey Coffee cake with buttercream decoratiohns on just a bit of it.) However, my Beshhht Phriend Mr Murphy (of the Famous Murphy’s Law) made an appearance and not just as a guest, he decided to stay for the entire weekend.

It started with Pickle  falling sick. Then T took a few days off to spend time with us. So nothing could be a surprise anymore! Between my visits to the doctor and coaxing Pickle to eat his food I somehow managed to get the necessary ingredients in place. Though I had planned to start baking early on the 16th, we had to be out of home on errands and I didn’t start till it was 8 pm. I then managed to under-cook my first two batches of ’round’ cake.

Royally pissed off, I gave up at 930pm and decided to call it a night. After tossing and turning for about an hour I figured I wasn’t getting any sleep so I might as well bake. I changed the plan and design. Baked 6 layers (I first tried cutting layers out of a single cake but it fell apart, Mr Murphy was having so much fun!) of vanilla and chocolate cakes.

I was done around 5 in the morning and had to start the day’s chores. Later in the day I layered up the cake (for once my whipped cream stood) and covered up the cake in Ganache. The weather was terrible and my buttecream was literally melting while I was piping it out. I finally put it in the fridge and finished decorating it.

Though I made a lot of mistakes and a lot went wrong too, I did manage to use a whole array of new tools and techniques and I am truly proud of myself for pulling it off. Yes, I did have a very different design for the cake and it didn’t turn up anywhere close to it but it tasted good. My Murphy finally left after the party and wasn’t too pleased!

 Here’s wishing T a beautiful birthday again. 

 

 

Roadtrip #3: Sikkim

Presentation1After last year’s road trips to Kochi and Goa I was really looking forward to a more relaxed and luxurious vacation this year. However, T had different plans for us. We had discussed Bhutan as a destination but without proper permission on his end it didn’t seem possible this time so the next best thing was Sikkim, according to him. I actually thought a getaway at the nearest Novotel Hotel would be great too but that, I guess, was so ‘normal’!

As days progressed, I found T hunched up on his various electronic gadgets (the phone, tab, laptop, mapmyindia) and even paper maps at some of time. I went on with my daily stuff blissful in my utter ignorance in what was to come. When T presented me with the excel sheet of our ‘Journey’ details, I finally knew there was no turning back and I would just have to suck it up and do what I do the best – organize!

It took me a whole day to detail out and pack up all that we would require on the trip – from heavy woolens to the water heater and cup noodles. We packed up the car and on 8th of June before Mr. Sun made his appearance on our horizon, we were up and ready to roll. Pickle, thankfully, is a very morning person like us (he literally turns cranky beyond his bedtime) and was super excited for whatever was to come. As we took off on our epic journey, my only preparation was to empty my bladder and pray like hell that we find proper toilets on the way.

We stopped at Kolkata after 14 hours, T will say it was 13 hours and 15 minutes (like it’s some kinda achievement) and spent a day there meeting relatives. The next day’s trip, from Kolkata to Siliguri, was by far the worst we have ever been on (the return journey on that road was the same). After spending the night at the Skyview Lodge in Siliguri and eating a weird breakfast (we hoped for a continental spread and got puri sabji) we headed towards Darjeeling.

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Sikkim RoadTrip Jume 2016 @Sinetheta

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As the hills approached, the weather became pleasant and we started driving with our windows down. The climb was scary. T being an experienced hill driver managed fine and at one point proudly declared that you need just need to do two things to climb the hill, put the car in first gear and manage the clutch. Personally I felt the two things were, close your eyes and pray to all the gods in the universe.

We stopped at a roadside restaurant just short of Darjeeling to eat an amazing lunch that consisted of steamed momos and Chicken Chowmein. That’s when our vacation really began.

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The next part was again a little dicey and not because of the roads. T was confident that we would reach our hotel in another half an hour or so. Believing his calculation, I happily drank all the water in the world and then went through a tortuous time as Pickle made my bladder his private trampoline. We probably drove around the whole Darjeeling with no luck in finding our hotel just ‘cause T thought asking for directions, when you have so many gadgets, was pedestrian!

After I fumed and gave him like 30 million dirty looks in the rearview mirror, he finally started asking for directions. We reached the hotel just in time for Pickle’s dinner and didn’t have much time for anything else. Our stay in Darjeeling was really great as we ate (of course), drank (was there a doubt) and made merry amidst the hills in a beautiful weather.

From Darjeeling we headed towards Gangtok. The drive was beautiful the first half of it was literally on the banks of the River Teesta. A slight drizzle, the gurgling noises from the river and hot cups of Chai made it perfect. Though I am not a tea drinker, I figured when in Rome and all that. However, the chai from the roadside tapris were so much better than the ones poured out in our hotels.

Anyway, we managed to reached our hotel in Gangtok sometime after lunch and had enough time to unwind. We spent the remaining day/evening sorting out the paperwork for our Journey to Nathula and then hogged brilliant bacon-chicken burgers and bacon platters at a café on the MG Marg. The next day was spend in the Nathula trip which surely was the trip of a lifetime. Evening was hogging time again, along with some souvenir shopping. The last day in Gangtok was a bonus since we had planned to go up to Lachung but had to cancel at the last moment due to bad weather and landslides. So we shifted hotels ( to a much more luxurious one – T’s compromise for dragging me on the trip) and spent the day like regular tourists, doing touristy thing.

On our journey back we went to Lava which is a Forest resort in West Bengal and spent two whole days decompressing and relaxing in total isolation before our trip back home. It took us two more days to finally get home and though I had started the trip with a truck load of apprehensions and even subjected T to a full blown tantrum in the very beginning of it, I was so very happy that he actually decided to do the trip by road.

We spent the next whole week unpacking, retelling incidents, reminiscing and gloating over our loot of Sikkim Rum and Musk Brandy. Though it was hectic, it was definitely the trip of a lifetime and the mother of all road trips… yet!

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Lava – West Bengal Forest Resort

Oh kay…. Resort is a little stretched, Forest however, bang on! And… it was COLD, contrary to what its name might lead someone to believe.

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This gorgeous place is isolated and so far away from civilization (not really because right outside there is like a whole gamut of restaurants, hotels and souvenir shops…but in theory it is pretty far) that it makes for an awesome tech free family vacation. The cottage was an adorable little thing with just a bed, blankets and a geyser in the bathroom. With mist all around and nothing much to do we un-winded and geared up for our drive back home which was sure to be a pain in all the wrong places, quite literally!

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The food is served in a small canteen there and needs to be ordered before hand. However, if you don’t mind the walk, you can always go down the hill to eat at one of numerous restaurants there. Feel free to hog and overeat cause the walk up the hill will take care of it. We did try to venture out the next day to visit a tea garden but the heavy rains decided for us and we returned after only taking pictures of it. The slimy creatures all over, the deafening silence and the night long power cuts were the only inconveniences we faced and only because Pickle made us switch on our flashlight for the whole night because he hates the dark.

Though a very relaxing getaway, we sure were thankful to be leaving it and didn’t mind an early start. From Lava we headed towards Siliguri and went through the same painful stretch where we were literally sitting for hours. After driving like crazy and doing a lot of off-roading, we managed to reach the hotel we had planned to stay the night at. A hotel bed has never been this alluring in my life. The next day, another early start and a long long… long journey later we finally reached home. The drive was pretty eventful since we literally ate breakfast, of chocos and cold milk out of a tin mug, in the car, munched through hot wings bought from a KFC on the way and I got to do an entire stretch of driving while T ‘tried’ to sleep. Of course it was only for 40 minutes but the most active ones in Pickle’s day, so I got to enjoy T’s condition from afar!!!

Overall the whole roadtrip was fabulous and I can’t wait to do more… ok… not really. This was kinda enough for this year… or maybe not. With Leh and Rajasthan on the cards, you never know.

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By the river Teesta…. I sat down and peed!!!

Well of course NOT REALLY. Though I could probably write a whole book about the places and the manner in which one could pee while on a road trip, the banks of the river Teesta didn’t make the cut. The title was just too awesome to let go.

From Darjeeling we took off around 8 towards Gangtok. The drive was beautiful with the Teesta keeping us company most of the way. We bypassed Kalimpong since there wasn’t much to do and we really wanted to reach Gangtok by lunch. Once we entered Sikkim, except for the winding roads and high altitude, it was like any other city, bustling with energy.

This time around, to save himself from the wrath of my fury, T asked around and we managed to find our Hotel in time. We stayed at the Sikkim Delight- by Mango and weren’t that impressed. Though a very good budget hotel with good basic amenities, the food was plain horrible and after that one lunch we decided not to eat in ever. After a light snooze we headed towards the MG Marg, the most happening place in town and weren’t disappointed. The first order of business was to figure out our passage to Nathula and the folks at the Tourist Information Office were very helpful. Under their direction we headed towards the Army Cantt to figure out passes for us and our vehicle. Though we had to wait for a while, it was worth it.

Armed with passes and giddy about the fact that we could travel to Nathula on a Tuesday without the civilian crowd, we hunted for a nice place for our meal. Guides online suggested The Baker’s café and we were thoroughly impressed. Pickle enjoyed a veggie pasta in white sauce while T dived into the mouth watering pork platter. Though I had to wait a while for my big chicken and bacon burger, it was worth it. What was surprising that they took their last order at 7:15, we were literally the last people to enter. In fact, T had gone ahead to check out the place and while I was still climbing the stairs, the staff was putting the ‘Closed’ sign on the door.

The next day we started around 6:45 am and had to wait a while for our vehicle pass. Then we started towards Nathula. The journey took us around 4 hours and was as breathtaking as it was scary. The roads, contrary to popular belief, were perfectly maintained, thanks to the Army folks stationed there. We had absolutely no trouble reaching the Pass by 10 am. It was a surreal experience up there. With our Defence background, we did get a few privileges not offered to the general public.

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My very first snow

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At Nathula Pass

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The steaming glass of tea, the slight drizzle, Pickle exclaiming “Too cold mumma too cold” and the warmth of the soldiers there made that one visit the most memorable one. On our way back we stopped for the customary roadside chowmein and cuppa tea. Also visited the Baba mandir and the Tsomgo Lake.

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The rain did dampen our clothes and shoes but not our spirits. We made it back to our hotel in good time and went gallivanting once more on the MG Marg.

After a lot… and I mean a LOT of souvenir shopping (during which I sifted through 100s of fridge magnets and selected one, only to discover that it was one of “Bhutan” instead of Sikkim), we went to The Square for Dinner and loved it. They made a killer Cuba Libre and the little sausages wrapped in bacon were simply blissful.

The next day we visited the Rumtek Monastery and shifted to another hotel nearby, The Suhim Portico. This hotel definitely made up for all the crappy ones on the way, not that there were any but you know what I mean.

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That night we managed to buy our hoard of Sikkim Rum and musk brandy. We also dined at this little place called “The Taste of Tibet” courtesy TripAdvisor.

The next day we started off towards Lava. Though short, our stay in Gangtok has definitely left us wanting for more. If you guys ever plan on visiting Sikkim, please do not miss Nathula Pass. We didn’t manage to go to Lachung due to bad weather but it wasn’t all that bad. The fact that Pickle got to say Hello… and Salute… to the Chinese Guard at the border totally made up for it.

Darling Darjeeling

Of course the title is cheesy but isn’t Darjeeling like THE honeymoon destination in India? And I totally get it. The mist, the hills, fresh air and winding roads make for some really cozy moments. Add to it the hotel rooms with no fan or AC and just 322 blankets and you have to perfect excuse to laze around and just be cozy in a cocoon.

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We stayed in a hotel called The Traveler’s Inn. Of course it wasn’t the Mayfair but it had a clean room, clean blankets, room service and a view to die for.

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I was actually miffed for a while since there were no fans in the room (yes I am the types who loves to sleep with the fan on, no matter what the season). However, as night fell and temperatures sank I was suddenly grateful that there weren’t any fans. Out came the woolen socks, the heavy sweatshirts and stayed on till the break of dawn which was pleasantly around 4 am. I am so gonna live on the eastern hills… day begins around 4 and is done by 6 in the evening – how perfect!

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Since we didn’t have any time the day (evening) we checked in (thanks to T’s stubborn refusal to ask for directions), we had a hot dinner and tucked in. The dinner was weird. It looked great, smelled great and even had proper masalas but I couldn’t find any taste in it. It was really disappointing. The next day we left immediately after a pathetic breakfast of idli (seriously??? I traveled all this distance to eat the same old IDLI??? The one above does have a sense of irony).

We drove to the HMI (Himalayan Mountaineering Institute) which also housed the Zoo. Though there were not many (or any) animals to look at, Pickle had a ball of a time running around. After the customary snaps, souvenirs and gobbling of snacks we decided to head back. the one mistake we did was take our own car… There are loads of one ways and turns and so when T tried to get the car back to the entrance to pick us he got stuck. We whiled away our time observing crazy people around (not crazy-crazy, just the touristy kind) and eating hot pakoras and home made buns. We reunited after nearly an hour and headed towards a parking lot. we had learnt our lesson and figured we rather park our car and carry on without it.

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Strolling through the mall road was so much fun. I gave away more of our money to buy useless crap and then luckily found ourselves in front of Glenary’s. This restaurant or bakery is a heritage landmark in Darjeeling. Of course we didn’t know it till we walked in and read about it. Our rumbling tummies led us well. We finally tucked in and started our vacation properly with Chinese Chopseuy, Beef chilly and a smoking chicken steak, Pickle had to be content with rice and Dal makhani. I discovered the lip smacking delicacies of the bakery downstairs along with beef and pork pickles, yum yum!!!

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After over eating and also packing up stuff we finally walked out and strolled aimlessly for a while before remembering that there were more things to look at. We hired a cab and visited the Peace Pagoda and the Japanese temple (the only ones on my list of to-see). It really was the ‘peace’ pagoda. The climate helped, with the mist floating around the temple and the pagoda seemed heavenly.

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After our short sightseeing we headed back to the hotel. Though we wanted to dine at the famous Revolver hotel, they weren’t taking any walk ins due to a busy season. We quickly turned to trip advisor and discovered this adorable café called – Gaty’s café. Now it is so hidden that you won’t trip on it during your strolls. You will really need to look for it to find it. The entrance is a little dark and dingy but once inside it you will soon warm up. It is like being in the soul of a true roadster. The décor along with the food/wine menu felt absolutely perfect. We toasted with the Old monk and waited for our food to arrive. Pickle loved his Pita and hummus as we dug into the platter of super spicy wings!

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The two day stay was too short but just enough for us to get addicted to this beautiful place. We missed the tea garden tours but our goose hunt around the hill station the day before made us feel like we had seen it all!

To Do!!!

Do you ever get the feeling that your life has suddenly been reduced to an unending to-do list?

Since the second I wake up in the morning, I am stuck to my lists. The bond is so strong that it has now started to feel like a part of me. Though I have always loved lists, their precise directives, motivation to get things done… off late they depress me.

The wish list that I come across every now and then keeps getting longer with things I really want to do but have to time or energy for.

The book list that keeps me anxious at night.

The bucket list of travels I save for and look forward to.

The ridiculous number of craft WIPs that just-won’t-get-completed!

The list of groceries that has absolutely no end.

The list of courses I want to finish before I grow too old and tired.

The ideas for the books I want to write someday.

The things I need to teach Pickle.

The gifts I want to buy for T.

The things I have to discuss with ma on our next call.

The broken taps and cupboards that need to be fixed.

The various “guys” that need to be called to fix the previously listed things.

The bills I have to pay every month.

The queries I have for the doctors.

The events and happenings I need to be a part of.

The stories I need to look up to be up to date with the world.

The words I have to look up before Pickle grows up and asks me.

The friends I need to ping and keep in touch with.

The ones I have to wish for their special days.

The recipes I need to try out.

The ventures I want to invest in.

The career options I need to consider.

The activities to line up for Pickle.

The places we have to visit.

The restaurants to try food at.

The DIYs I have to undertake.

You see what I mean? Do you ever see an end to these lists? The lazier ones among you will ask me to chuck out the lists! The ones with OCD will understand why I can’t.

Yes they do depress me because I have so little time and so much to do. But they also are a lifeline… they provide me with so much hope. They make me want to live it up each day (even if it is reading a book instead of partying).

Lists are crazy… they make me crazy… but also bring order to an otherwise chaotic life. Today morning driven crazy by my overflowing lists… I started another list:

Things to do:

  1. STOP MAKING LISTS
  2. STOP MAKING LISTS WHEN FRUSTRATED
  3. STOP BEING FRUSTRATED
  4. MAKE LISTS TO REDUCE FRUSTRATION

 

So long!

01 Jan 2016

It is that time of the year again when we make resolutions (to lose weight, smile more), reminisce the past  and hope with all our heart for a better time ahead.

Being a defence brat, the best part of my dad’s job (contrary to popular belief) was that it was transferable. I absolutely loved the idea that I could live in a new place, make new friends, learn new stuff and then move on before it became a monotonous routine. Every time we moved, I was more excited about the new place than of the things I was leaving behind. In hindsight, I think it was mostly because I looked forward to another chance, a chance to do things the right way… or maybe just better. There were lessons I learnt in a place and then implemented in the next one in the hope that it would be perfect. It never was, every place came with its own set of challenges, experiences and even mistakes.

New years are like that… we take stock of what has passed, offer our gratitude for the blessings we have had, count the strengths we have gained from surviving the challenges and close chapters on our losses! And then like the year before, we move on… with hope.

As a family, we have had a beautiful year. Yes, T was away a lot which made it difficult but I finally started driving the Xylo (oh yeah dude… that is like a huge thing), I also managed to figure out the fuse box, learnt the art of making the maintenance staff work and wash and cut a whole chicken without using gloves! Pickle is growing up way too quickly but it is the most astounding part of our lives right now.I used to worry about the effects of T’s absence on Pickle, but then I realised… Pickle was just being inducted into the defence way of life… And I’m proud to say he is turning out to be a perfect defence brat himself.

On a more personal front I discovered that I have a secret hoard of patience which is inexhaustible when Pickle is concerned. That I am turning out to be a pretty good parent and that I do manage to do pretty well when need arises. I rediscovered my love for books, music and poetry, learnt new crafts, managed to learn and cook a lot of new dishes and also started out a more healthier routine (and followed it through).

So I guess it’s time for my resolutions of the year to come. Instead of simply stating them, I have decided to categorise them…

  1. one resolution that I can break every five minutes : Not to swear  ( just to make sure I break it I am mumbling WTF under my breath every five minutes… whoever said breaking resolutions was fun…)
  2. one resolution that will help someone else : To volunteer for some NGO work, online or offline. To donate stuff more often instead of being lazy and stacking them under the bed and “plan” to donate them!
  3. one resolution that brings out the child in me: To sing loudly in the shower (some good songs instead of incy wincy spider)
  4. one resolution that makes me a healthier person: To take up one physical activity that motivates me to get up from the couch! ( I wonder if watching the TV standing makes the cut)
  5. one resolution that lets me indulge : To binge eat ice cream once a month without fail!!! ( ooh… maybe it should be every week… day???)
  6. one resolution that I will keep till the end of this year : To keep in touch more effectively, maybe even revert to handwritten cards and letters (can’t wait to use all the inland letters I have in stock… wait… are they still used???)
  7. one resolution that helps me learn something new: To learn a new language and clay modelling
  8. one resolution that marks the growth in me: To stop my mind from wandering over random useless thing and to stops stressing over things that don’t matter in the bigger picture (or maybe it should be to stop being a total Bitch…? Nah… I’m great at it)
  9. one resolution that I can break in six months and not feel bad: To lose the last few Kgs of my baby weight. Two piece bikini… here I come)
  10. one resolution that is long overdue: To start writing my journal seriously again. (No peeking T)

There… I have finished the obligatory new year post… and thanks for reading… now go back to your mindless TV watching…

Here’s wishing all my faithful readers ( the plural is a little too optimistic… but what the hell… it IS a new year) a very very happy and prosperous new year… May this new year make me write more stupid posts that you enjoy reading.

Love you all.

ps: The only reason I wrote today’s date as the title is cause ever since I stopped working I never find the need to write a date… anywhere!

pps: this post started out as a matured and wisdom-y thing but I still managed to drag it down to my level

ppps: seriously??? you are still reading this?

pppps: Okay seriously guys… you’re great and I love you but stop reading and go back to what you were doing

ppppps: Ha!!! Gotcha!!!

pppppps: I love post-scripts and now I have literally lost the count of Ps …

 

Life is a DIY

I sometimes have the feeling that our whole life is a DIY project of sorts. First our parents try their hand at it. Once they reach a certain level of sophistication OR complication, they call us adults and hand it over to us.

It’s almost like life, the actual project, consists of these smaller DIY projects which are usually always a WIP. Some attain the objective and meet a successful end while others are carefully maintained in a WIP status till the very end cause we don’t want them to end. Then there are the failed projects which at times we give up after losing hope and the others we start over and over again till we get it right.

I guess that is enough nonsense for today 🙂 I have a crochet shrug and a stain glass painting to get back to.

So long!

Roadtrip #1 : Goa!

I met T in 2009, got hitched the next year and kept planning to make a trip down to Goa every single year after that. Somehow we never did make it, it was either my job or his which kept us away. There was this one time when we even booked the tickets and hotels only to cancel them in the last minute since he got recalled. Well… that’s life!

Anywho… this April he suddenly called me up from work and told me he’s got his leave approved. Although it was last minute, we managed to book our room in Goa and the next day we simply loaded up our car and took off. Of course with Pickle around I had many misgivings and the thought of managing a toddler (inside a car, however big) for two whole days was already giving me an ulcer but we did it anyway. The only comforting part was that I could take as many things as I wanted to (my favorite part of road-tripping). So starting from a nail-cutter to 5 extra pillows were all graciously dumped into the car as we took off at 5 in the morning with the sun barely on the horizon. The journey, the stay and Pickle were all absolutely amazing. Pickle was pretty happy to be in the car and although he was a little cranky on the second day on the road, it was overall very manageable and exciting.

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We made a stop at Hyderabad overnight and still managed to reach Goa the next day by sundown. I have been to Goa twice before, first when Dad was posted there and I was a toddler running around in my underwear (that’s what my neighbours still tell me) and the second when I visited it with friends in 2008. This time however, it was a whole new experience. I fell in love with the place to say the least and I am not talking about the booze, pubs or any of the party scene that the place is usually associated with (ok maybe a little bit because of my favorite Old Monk). We had booked the “Mango Large” room in Jasminn hotel which is pleasant little placed tucked away in Betalbatim (close to Colva Beach). in South Goa.

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We were lucky to get a great deal on the room charges and the suite was very nice too. With a microwave and a refrigerator I was totally at home since I could easily whip up Pickle’s food in the room itself. We had 4 days to go around and spent every moment exploring the place. We did the usual touristy thing as well… the beaches, the museum and the churches.

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With Pickle our night outs were not feasible but we didn’t really mind since we managed to gorge heavenly food at some of finest places.

IMG_20150412_162019  La Plage, at Ashwem had a great menu. We however went there for their famous “Chocolate Thali” and the private beach.IMG_0180

Thalassa was this divine greek restaurant with a breathtaking view. We plan to stay at their huts the next time we’re in Goa.

                                       IMG_0197The Chocolate Thali at La Plage

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 The Fresh Catch at Thalassa. 

With Mickey’s right around the corner and our trips to Tito’s, Britto’s, Thalassa and La Plage, life was dreamy and perfect. We also stuffed ourselves with the famous Goan sausages and a lot of sea food. What we really loved about South goa was the homey feeling. People around were warm and friendly too. Yes, 4 days were far too less and we were already missing Goa by the time we reached Hyderabad on our way back.

Pickle was a total sweetheart and loved the beaches and the long drives. Although I did have my set of misgivings about the whole trip, I did have a, much required, relaxed time. Apart from dawdling around on beaches and over-eating delicious non-veg, we managed to catch up on some quality family time!

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Our Loot!!!

Already looking forward to the next time we are there!

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Resolutions??? Nah…

I know it is a tad bit late for resolutions but what the hell, I am a full time mom, timelines barely exist for me!!!

So every year I have these set resolution that I never EVER follow. Seriously people… who has the time. If we didn’t follow it the last year, it is obvious that we didn’t have the time or energy and since we are still alive, it doesn’t need to be followed. Simple. Every year I decide to blog more often or exercise more or some random goody stuff that everyone loves to read.

2013 I only made one resolution, “To have my baby or conceive before the year end”. And as promised, Pickle promptly arrived before the year ended. In 2014 I was barely breathing, so I didn’t notice when the whole calendar changed.

This year promises to be quite exciting as Pickle is almost walking and will soon start talking hopefully. There are a couple of things I have planned to get done before the year ends… lets hope at least some of them get done.

  1. Take a trip to some random place. A trip to Goa with T and Pickle is long overdue.
  2. Make loads of Amigurumi. I do have plans to sell some of my crocheted stuff.
  3. Read 50 books for the goodreads challenge. I plan to buy at least 3 books every month.
  4. Pickle’s room project. I have made tons of excuses for avoiding painting Pickle’s room. I think I better get it done this year
  5. Pamper myself. I have spent most of my days taking care of T or Pickle. Though it is all very satisfying, I figured nobody’s gonna take time out to pamper me… and so I am going to buy myself presents and treat myself to amazing stuff whenever I can.
  6. Bake a Chocolate mousse cheesecake. This one dessert has never been properly baked and this year I am going to get it right.
  7. Get a face clean up. I know it sounds simple enough but trust me I haven’t seen the inside of a parlour since Pickle was born. I have never really been the type to visit it regularly but once in two months for a haircut and a cleanup felt good. I actually had to go to the local barber to get a trim since my hair was too long and I was sitting on it. Another time I chopped off my long bangs and T had to trim it.
  8. I would really like to learn the complex origami stuff and teach Pickle as well
  9. Getting in touch with friends. With most of my friends in the same boat of marriage, kids and work, it is difficult to maintain correspondence. More so because I live in some godforsaken corner of the country and can barely travel anywhere without blowing a huge hole in my savings account. This year I will try to write letters to all those nincompoops who think I have finally vanished from their universe!!!
  10. Laugh. Ok I know this sounds totally cheesy and one of the resolutions on everyone’s list… but I do intend to be less sad (except when I am PMSing cause that’s just not in my hands).

If you find making resolutions equally clichéd, try planning a few things instead and following them through. And in case you need someone to nag you about keeping your resolutions, I am totally up for the job!!! Have a beautiful year ahead!

what 2014 taught me…

Apart from learning how truly amazing I am, the past year did teach me something more (definitely note humility). So here’s my list of lessons learnt…

  1. Raising a baby is the most exhausting but also the most rewarding job in the world
  2. I love not being at work. I loved my job, however crappy and mentally retarded my colleagues were. So when I decided to take a long sabbatical from work to take care of Pickle, I’d imagined that I would probably be depressed about it. However, I am absolutely loving it. frankly I barely have the time to sit back and mull over it…
  3. I have a lot of patience. I have always been impatient as hell. Although I was born in the 80s, I crave for the “instant gratification” that the present century boasts of. With Pickle I realized that I actually have more patience in me than even T, who’s like the definition of patience
  4. Never ever get involved in a group squabble. Any group of friends is like a couple and I have learnt it the hard way that it can never be good getting involved when they fight with each other. You usually end up taking sides whether logically or intentionally and then they suddenly kiss and make up leaving you at the sidelines feeling like a drenched little puppy who’s just be kicked in the guts!!! You end up being bad to both parties involved and that is definitely NOT a place you want to be in
  5. Never ever have expectations. It is just WRONG to have expectations of any kind from anyone except yourself. I still fall into the trap and end up sad when my expectations aren’t met… so I guess I am still learning… People (that is everybody other than you) will disappoint you. ALWAYS.
  6. In laws are in laws!!! Whatever you do or don’t do, you will always be treated like an outsider to the family. Surprisingly, Pickle, who is my flesh and blood is suddenly one of their own while I get treated like a baby producing machine who doesn’t even have any right on the baby anymore. I tried… a lot but after a while I realized that nothing really matters. The world will see them as loving, caring people and will wonder why you can’t get along. Nobody will hear the underhand comments, the snide remarks or the back biting. So I decided to concentrate on my family, T and Pickle, and let others go eat grass for all I care!!!
  7. Shut up. It is ridiculous to keep explaining yourself about the million choices you make. Nobody understands till they are exactly in your position and that will probably never happen. So why bother, their opinions will neither pay your bills or help you do your work. Just forget them and carry on with your decisions. If you make mistakes you will deal with it!!! Just remember that you do not owe ANYONE any explanations.
  8. No judging. After becoming a parent I have realized that it is sooper simple to judge people and give them random advice. So I try to be more understanding and if I don’t get them at all, I trust them to make their own decisions/mistakes and deal with them.
  9. Share every recipe. It is plain juvenile to keep recipes secret! I have learnt that the same recipe can produce different tasting dishes owing to the one cooking them. Also, it is your love for food that helps you cook an amazing dish, not some measured recipe on the net.
  10. Drink water. Every time you search for diet tips or health tips, you will come across the point which instructs you to drink loads of water and we usually skip that. I did too till I decided not to. Drinking even two bottles of water daily does wonders for your weight, skin and overall health. Try it. (Just remember to be near a loo at ALL times if you are going to binge on water)

Frankly I was barely aware as the year came to an end. The last year had some breathtaking moments with Pickle. It also had some miserable ones when I had to deal with completely evil, mentally sick, uneducated pathetic creeps who reside in the heart of civilization and manage to fool even the most intelligent people. Then there were few days when I barely knew whether it was day or night and the ones I never wanted to end. Overall it was a very happening year which surprisingly flew by. One day I was cribbing about Pickle being only 2 weeks old and being so boring and the next day I was running around him as he licked random corners of the house while crawling at a super speed!!!

Hudhud was the lowest point of the year but I surprised myself as I still managed to take care of the house and the baby singlehandedly. I even drove our Xylo with Pickle strapped in the carseat!!! Imagine that!!! Goes to show that the darkest hours does bring out the best in us. Enough gyaan for now, please spend some time thinking about your year and how you wasted so much time reading my blogs!!!

Merry Christmas

IMG_8394Dear Readers,

Here’s wishing you all gorgeous people a Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas is like my favorite holiday… ever. I remember getting all excited about the gift cause my mom used to save up the whole year to buy me a barbie and my brother a GI Joe. (Yup, Rs 125 for a silly doll used to be a HUGE waste of money). Being raised in another religion, Christmas did not really mean much to us except for the gifts and the bright twinkly lights on my neighbours balcony!!! Over the years, I have managed to keep the holiday cheer alive by doing all that I can to be more involved. In Engineering college I managed to bully my friends into buying me Christmas gifts (yeah, me bullying people for gifts is like my motto in life!), during my work years I sang in choirs ( Ok fine, “sang” is a stretch, but I did stand near the drums and shake the tambourine like nobody’s business!!!), arranged secret santas with colleagues (another way of getting me some gifts!) and also bought cute little trees to decorate.

T is as enthusiastic about Christmas as me, so after marriage it was so much fun doing the whole tree, gift and drinking thing together! I even managed to make rum plum cake which I have been religiously baking since 2010. Although hard work, it’s definitely a lot of fun. This year it is Pickle’s first “conscious” Christmas. ( Last time doesn’t count since he was barely awake !!!)

My folks insisted on taking him to the Christmas party so that Santa could give him his gift. My argument that he had no clue who this Santa fellow is or that he can barely distinguish between his toes and fingers… didn’t really amount to much. So I took him but ended up enjoying the whole thing. The excitement was literally in the air with kids screaming their lungs out and running around randomly.

I also ended up baking 7 cakes for friends and family. Wanna know a secret? I hate Rum Plum cakes!!! No seriously, I never even taste the ones I bake.  But I guess it was good since people have been calling me up for the recipe!

Pickle wasn’t too excited (obviously) but he did have fun with his gift boxes and the wrapping papers. Only if his excitement would continue, I would never have to buy him anything more than some bright wrapping paper and big boxes for all his coming Christmases!

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Anywho… Hope you all have a beautiful Christmas. Ho Ho Ho!!!

Hudhud 2014

Living on a hill with a beautiful ocean view certainly has its perks. This October, we finally faced the downside of it all.

While the city of Vizag took its precautions for Hudhud , I remained blissfully ignorant of the oncoming storm. In my defense, it was a simple case of “the –boy-who-cried-wolf”. As almost-localites of Vizag, we are used to all the rain and thunderstorms that happen in this region due to the presence of the Bay of Bengal. And the last three cyclone warnings were pretty useless considering that while Neelam was raging through, we were enjoying a bright sunny day. So when Hudhud was predicted, we took it in our stride and forgot about it. Add to it the fact that I barely watch TV, let alone News, I wasn’t even aware that it had a name or was heading for Vizag. When Ma messaged it she addressed it to Pickle and said, “Pickle shona, hudhud is coming…”I pegged it for the cutsie baby talk we usually do. Then my aunt called up, all worried and anxious about it and I pretty much bit her head off stating very calmly that we are on top of a hill and nothing… “NOTHING”… will happen to us. Ya… I was eating those very same words for breakfast, lunch and dinner just a day later.

T was working that Sunday and everything was the usual… I woke up… cooked his lunch… went through Pickle’s routine, he left for work. The first indication (which we happily ignored) was when T returned stating that the winds were too strong and trees were falling all over the place. He had barely missed being hit by one so he just turned around and came back home. I was confused since he is the sincere types like me and measly winds do not upset our routine… that is when he elaborated that his car was rocking … !!! FYI it was a Xylo he was talking about.

I hadn’t gone out till then so I didn’t really bother much. I was also busy being happy about the fact that he could finally stay at home on a Sunday (those are quite rare). At around 9 when I finally sat down with Pickle for his breakfast, I listened to the wind whistle outside and realized that it might be time to take a few precautions. So we jammed old clothes under the doors and in the windows to soak up any water sprays. We seriously never saw it coming!!!

By 10 the wind was howling as the spray of water banged repeatedly against our windows. While I huddled with Pickle at one end of his nursery, T frantically ran between rooms mopping up the water coming in through the windows. Suddenly around 1 it all cleared up, we quickly drove out to another section in search of network… we saw fallen trees and poles everywhere and thanked god that we were safe at home. By the time we were back and Pickle had his lunch, we felt it was all gone and were comfortable enough to start watching a movie on my laptop. The remainder of Hudhud that followed was simply traumatic. I am not scared of many things… ya dogs terrify me but I love thunderstorms and heavy rains. And if I tell you that “I”was scared…. Trust me it was scary. The cyclone raged throughout the second half… till early hours of the next day. We had our rooms flooded with water… when I got down from the bed the next day I was walking in ankle deep water.

What happened to the other houses were far from imagination. My entire campus looked like a refugee camp, garage doors had flown off and banged into buildings and cars, tiles and even roofs in some places had flown off… tanks, poles, windows, door frames…. There wasn’t a speck of greenery around. Huge trees were strewn on the roads, landslides had occurred as well… in my 30 years, I personally have only read about such destruction and acute sense of despair. I would have never imagined all this happening to me. There wasn’t any network, power or water supply for the next 7 days. It was not impossible to survive the conditions, I mean there were those without houses, but it was certainly hectic. Now at the cost of sounding privileged, I must confess it is harder to live without electricity when you are so dependent on it. Without a maid to help out and with a ten month old, electrical appliances are what help me get through the chores. My washing machine, the food processor, the water heater… so, it was quite challenging to manage the house, which was already in shambles, without the resources.

No network though was heavenly… being totally cut off from the world outside helped me finish 5 books, indulge in crocheting and the conversations with T. Once done with the chores and dinner, we would just sit around and chat without the irritating TV or phones to distract us.

Kudos to our maintenance staff though, electricity and network was restored in just 7 days. I know me grumbling about these non essential things sound extremely silly when there were those who lost their farms, houses, livelihoods and what not… but I can only imagine, empathize and pray for them.

Also, I know this post is like really really really late and trust me even I am tired of stating Pickle as an excuse… all I can say is that I will try harder to post more in real time next ime onwards.

 

A few snaps…

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Shubho Bijoya!!!

Here’s wishing all you gorgeous readers ( all three of you :)), Shubho Bijoya!

This year Pujo was extra special with Pickle around and we tried our best to enjoy it.Although now I am like Sooper tired due to all the late nights and early morning schedules, it was so totally worth it. Pickle is still too tiny to really understand all this, but I am just glad we could.

Our luck with “Food” remained terrible even on the last two days when we couldn’t find any decent stuff around. We had to eat dinner out in some restaurant just to get our fill of yummy non veggie stuff. Pickle would sleep off initially but once up, he would be all over the place reveling in the bright lights, loud music and loads of attention.

Hoping the following year is prosperous for you all 🙂 Loads of love to you 🙂

Shoptomi…

Shubho Ashthami. And I believe it is Novomi too ( Ma said something about it being both … I have absolutely no idea what it means but in case you guys do…) Shubho Novomi!!!

Last night was a total disaster… and a hell of an embarrassment too. After raving to you guys about how awesome the food stalls are at the Railway Kaalibaari Pujo I happened to impart the same knowledge to at least three people I personally know. Almost begged them to come along for lip smacking bong snacks.  Unfortunately the only stalls present there sold vada pavs (really???? really???) vadas and mirchi bhajjis!!! I meanSERIOUSLY!!! @$@#$@%$%#^%*%^&^%#@

Since we had very enthusiastically planned to have our dinner there, I pretty much fasted since lunch ( that means instead of gobbling up all kinds of fried stuff after lunch I had only one apple, a packet of biscuits and a glass of milk). The pujo pandal was resplendent but I somehow had the feeling it was smaller than the last time… anywho after the obligatory (hehehe) round of the pandal we rushed to the food stalls only to be hugely disappointed. Grumbling we made our way back to the car planning to eat our dinner at some restaurant. The calls I had to make letting people know that the stalls sucked added a truck load of embarrassment to my already increasing temper and disappointment 😦

I did manage to eat a lot of greasy food at the restaurant … so I managed to do what I aimed to… get myself giddy with greasy snacks!!!

Well it seems like the universe has planned not to let me gorge on oily stuff… just hoping today would be a little better.

 

Happy eating…oopss… Happy puja everyone!!!!

Pujo

Shubho Shaptami to all my readers… the bong ones, and the pseudo bong ones too.

T and I proudly call ourselves the pseudo bongs. Although our parents are all kinds of bong, our “bongness” only emerges at the mention or sight of food. My brother and I grew up outside Cal and Pujos for us meant just holidays while growing up. We were never ever involved in the festivities. We did love the new clothes and the pandal hopping (between the three main ones here in vizag) that we did but that was it. Over the years, some of the enthusiasm oozing out of my bong friends swirled around me but that too directed me only to the food stalls. I was overjoyed when I realised T had the same interests. Till last year we went out with my parents to all the major pandals here and ate a lot of junk food.

This year however, they went back to Cal to be with my grandma and so we suddenly found ourselves without a shepherd. If we had been just the two of us we would have happily forgotten the pujos and gone with our usual routines. With Pickle around, things have changed… T wants him to have all the options around in case he wants to be more bong than we are. Ya we do get the fact that he can barely distinguish his finger from his toe and will probably not even register the “pujo”experience we are trying to give him, nevertheless, as dutiful parents, we are gonna do it!!!

So, we have decided to go to one pandal every evening to pay our respects. For Shoshti we went to the one in Steel Plant.

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It was nice. The excitement and the whole pujo happiness kinda gets to you once you step into a pandal with Ma Durga silently gazing at you. It is definitely a different feeling altogether. Yesterday being just the first day, didn’t see throngs of devotees flocking around the pandal but the cultural shows were at a full swing. When the kids on the stage suddenly started singing a famous kiddie song by Antara Chowdhary, T smirked and said,”oh… so this is really a “real”song!!!”Now I understood his looks when I sang it to Pickle during his meal times.  He used to think I was making it up… Duh!!!

I have had a little more exposure to the Bengali roots of mine and hence I can not only read the language but can also sing a lot many songs in it. Sadly, my spoken bengali remains “funny”. It is mostly due to the fact that I have spent my entire life trying to actively get rid of the typical bong accent that we get stuck with. I am just happy that when I speak english or hindi, I do not sound like a bong. T on the other hand can’t read or sing but manages to speak with some of the most beautiful and complex words of the language. And it is mostly due to his Dimmi’s influence.

Pickle was mostly fazed and awestruck at the fact that we took him out of home so late. Poor baby of mine fell asleep on the way there and was a little weirded out at being woken up. He was so sleepy that he didn’t even try to grab my ice cream cone even though I was happily waving it in front of his face. Anywho, we figured it is fine to take him out once in a while. The consequence of the trip was a little sad for me when he kept waking up at night and then didn’t want to sleep after 3 am… but since it is only for a few more days and for a good reason, I guess I can handle my share of sleeplessness.

Last night was overall good, the cultural programs ( that we made fun of ), the pandal ( which wasn’t as grand as last year) and the lack of crowd (which we were very happy about since we got parking right outside the gate). Unfortunately for our tummies, the food stalls weren’t really open last night so we are yet to have our fill of oily, lip smacking snacks. Tonight however we plan to change that. We have our eyes and tummies set on the pujo pandal at the Railway station Kaalibaari (don’t mind the references, it is just to show off that I do know Vizag) where they have good food stalls. I am just hoping they do not disappoint us.

Here’s wishing you all a very very happy pujo. May Ma durga shower you all with all the choicest blessings!!!

 

Life as it is…

I am a full time mom.

I have two good degrees… and a variety of work ex.

I prefer to stay at home and raise my child.

Last week, someone gave me a baffled look when I told her that I do not intend to get back to work soon. I find it irritating and never ever try to explain my choices in life. And from a career point of view I have made weird choices. I got married in the middle of my college, gave up a job in the metro to move to a barely known place and then gave up my not-so-awesome-but-its-a-job job to have a baby and stay at home. People, especially the ones who are more career oriented than I am, fail to see the logic behind it. Somehow it makes sense to me. It isn’t that I wasn’t interested in working or wasn’t good at it. Yeah there were a few setbacks but I loved all my jobs and the experience they gave me. Also, I was pretty damn good at whatever I did. Maybe not cutthroat or competitive enough for this world, but good enough.

I had plans when I did my engineering, to have this awesome career, travel the world and have a wild time before settling down. But as they say, life happens while we are too busy making plans. I fell in love and then realised that all the money in the world would never make me happier than being with T. It might seem like a grapes-are-sour kinda scenario but I really do find happiness in silly chores like baking the perfect cake or crocheting silly things for Pickle. I sometimes wonder why I lack the drive to be out there achieving and competing … but then I crave for spring rolls and start searching for recipes online!!!

I remember my dad telling me when I was 24, “do you thing, have fun and when you get bored… we will find you a nice guy to settle down with”. He was quite shocked about my decision to marry at 25… and then leave my job… and then to be a stay at home mom. Eh!!! who cares… Life is still hectic and happening. I love being able to read a book while restraining Pickle (he has some weird fetish with books… ), I love being able to crochet and bake… I still do get up at 5 cause there are like a million chores I need to get done before Pickle wakes up and demands my full attention. But its fun. Yes… there are some days when I don’t realise when the day starts or ends… the days seem to run on an endless loop… those are the time I crave for a full time job which at least ends at some time.

I will get back to the world of outlook mails, meetings and deadlines someday, but till then I intend to enjoy every moment of life.

 

Been a long time

I just checked the last time I posted and realised that it has been almost a month. Well… apologies to keep you bereft of the most awesome details of my totally happening life. I know you all have been dying to know how many potty diapers I have changed and how many times I have had spit up in my hair…

Well there are loads of updates and lots of posts to follow  (pinky swear!!!). We finally took Pickle to Doon for his first trip out… Met up with a lot of friends… Pickle has a whole new bag of naughtiness and I am exhausted… Will try and update you folks soon (I won’t let you die without knowing about these sooper awesome things that have been happening in my life). Also, there are a lot of back dated posts I need to publish.

So long till I start writing again…

Turning 30

This Monday I completed 3 whole decades on this planet!!! And unlike previous birthdays, this time I was actually sooper excited about turning a year older. Not that I have ever been morose about turning older, but this milestone was special. My silly indulgence in my “age” reminds me of the episode of Friends when they all reminisce their 30th birthdays… and though I can hear Joey shriek in my head, “why god ??? why??? Her too!!!” I can’t stop smiling at the fact that I am 30.

Whoever said that age is just a number probably never really had a life. Age is not JUST a number. It’s a truckload (or in my case a shipload) of experiences. All your bad decisions, ugly mistakes, sweet memories and fond stories… Bajillion heart breaks, 3456 BFFs, random resolutions and god knows what else. You get to look back on thousands of moments and good-bad-ugly, they all not only bring a smile but have also been very instrumental in getting you where you are…

I have no idea about you guys but I am not particularly fond of my 17-something self!!! I was this weird pimply tomboy who had no idea about what made this world go around. I believed in fairy tales, thought friendships were forever and that Kuch Kuch hota hain was this epic classic tale of life. I kept losing my heart to the wrong guys, kept trying to befriend the mean girls (oh yeah… I was terribly bullied during my college years), was gullible enough to believe and trust everybody who spoke to me and genuinely thought that world revolved around me.

Well… some of those things are still applicable. I still do believe that the world revolves around me 🙂 and yes I am still a little too trusting but with age I have managed to work on some of the other stupid things. I am way … like I mean WAYYYYYYYYYYYY better looking than before… (I finally discovered that you can be a tomboy at heart and still rock those amazing dresses and saris!!!)I have finally realised that fairy tales are called that… cause … that’s what they are… and that KKHH is just a sad pathetic stupid movie (which I still watch every time it runs on the cable… even if it is just to make fun of it!!!) with absolutely no meaning.

Then there are the accomplishments… I know some of my smarter friends and acquaintances might not consider it “progressive” enough… but I have a husband who adores me… a baby boy who’s like the most precious thing in this world and a small but meaningful group of friends. I may not be earning the big bucks but I have the time to crochet silly jackets for my pen drive and read utter nonsensical books by cyrus broacha…(he’s like my new favourite author). I bake all the time and indulge in all kinds of fattening food. I may not drink or smoke… but I love to dance the night away with T. I have managed to get an impressive education which gives me a lot of satisfaction (and maybe some day some moolah too). I paint… I sketch… and I also dabble in writing songs for my pickle pie.

I may not always have the energy or the time to keep in touch with my friends but I know they will be around when I need them. The years, instead of adding on friends have managed to bring down my circle to a select few who I can trust completely without the fear of getting stabbed in the back. I have acquired the courage to stand up to bullies and the composure to ignore gossips about me. I have learnt the art of silence (I know… SHOCKING!!!).

Overall I have more money(Hubby’s bank account), more intelligence(well some of you might say this is debatable… but lets just say I am… considering my brain cells have aged too), more understanding (well… I understood why you forgot my birthday and couldn’t wish me!!!! Huh) and more beauty(if I may say so) now… than I did when I was 18. So why wouldn’t I be sooper excited about turning 30???

The best reason of all is that I am just a decade away from having my mid-life crisis… Finally!!! (all those fake-fb-article crises at 20 or 25 can go take a hike). Mid life Crisis… I’m on my way!!!

Now for the main part:

I do this every year… some times out of spite… at times out of anger and disappointment… but this year this is only out of heartfelt gratitude. Thanks to all those who forgot my birthday. It just means I can feel less guilty about forgetting more people around me.

Pleasant Surprise

So… after nagging  continuously, taunting and dropping not-so subtle hints in every bit of conversation that I have with T, he finally figured that the easiest way to shut me up (for at least some time) was to give me what I wanted!!!

This morning as I walked into the living room, I was pleasantly surprised to see this gorgeous bunch of flowers and a book!!!

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wpid-img_20140801_052306.jpgYAYEEEEEEEEE!!! August couldn’t have had a better beginning!!!

Love you so much T. Don’t worry even if there are’t any more surprises… I am totally in love with you  for doing this… It meant the world to me.

My Love Affair

All great love stories have this magical beginning. It may seem mundane and ordinary while it happens, but in retrospect one cannot miss the fantastic air around it. The love T and I share, had such a beginning, ordinary and even bordering on boring. However, as we now look back, we realise that the meet cute was so brilliantly orchestrated by fate that it was nothing short of a fairy tale.

Today I would like to write a little about my other love affair. Yup, I have been in love with this… well… lets just say “soul” since before I met T. As routine things go, the meet cute was random and quite unexpected. It was this totally lame afternoon in mid may, 2004, when vellore’s heat was at its peak and like any engineering college student, I had absolutely no classes and nothing to do. The sticky humid weather made it impossible for me to do any serious reading so I lazed around flipping through the pages of some magazine my roomie had left around. As I read through the book reviews, one specifically caught my attention. It was a review for a book called “The Last song of dusk”. The review was intriguing enough for me to want to read the book.

Now remember, those were the days B.F, as in “Before Flipkart”. So when you wanted to read a book, you would either ask around to see if anybody had a copy or buy one for yourself. Nope…engineering college libraries DO NOT carry soul stirring novels!!! (I would know… I literally spent my first year in a cubby hole there). At that point in time I was a bookworm alright… but not yet a bibliophile. So the decision to actually buy a book meant a huge deal for me. I know it sounds silly but I actually bought the book for three main reasons :

1. The review of the book was awesome (this was before I knew that some reviews are actually paid for)

2. The title had my name’s meaning in it, “dusk”. ( I know this is a silly reason but wait till you read the 3rd reason)

3. The author was not just a few years older but amazingly cute!!! (YUP!!! )

And that is why I decided to buy my first book ever (Raging teenager hormones I guess!!!). So during my next trip home I bought the book. Again, in the days B.F and B.S (Before salary), buying frivolous things as “books” wasn’t easy at my house. I had to sacrifice my birthday gift in order to get my folks to foot the bill of the book. I finished the book on my journey back to college and that’s when I knew I was totally smitten. I had fallen in love… the head-over-heels type of love.

I have always loved re-reading books… the classics and the odd thrillers. However, ever since that day, the only book I have re-read every time has been the LSD. I have read it when I was in a pit of depression (my first heartbreak ),  or was overwhelmed by euphoria ( first job), or was blind angry at people or simply wanted a little me time… And this book made sense every single time. It speaks to you in a language that no other book will ever do. The poetic words do perfect justice to “life” as it is. The story feels your own and the spatters of wit just make it more interesting .

At every Big moment in my life I have read this book and it has always created this magic bubble around my life. Bookworms like me will understand this better… when you are so immersed in the lives of the characters of a novel, you breathe for them… you cry for them and you start living for them. This is that one book in my life which always makes me “feel”. I have read over 600 novels since then (a slight exaggeration… since 600 sounds better than 576, which is also not true!!!) and I own exactly 410 books (as of today plus the other ten that I just ordered), however none of the other books even come close to this one.

I read it when I first met T and was trying to figure out my feelings. Anuradha helped me understand true love. While I was away from T even after our marriage, it held me and I realised that “Love was enough”. Every time I was hurt, I found my ointment in the midst of the very same pages while previously meant something totally different. The book once again surprised me when I read it during my postpartum depression days. It spoke to me in words nobody ever did. The joy I felt at my son’s birth, the anxiety I went through was right there in black and white on the pages of the book. What is more astounding is how the author captured all these emotions in those few pages bound together. Every read aroused a whole different set of feelings and emotions. I know it seems like I am trying too hard to explain what this book means to me… but it is exactly THAT… It IS too hard to explain. Lets’ just say my soul resides in it.

Over the years I have gifted this to many , recommended it to many more just in the hope that everyone finds a little something for themselves in it. This year is the tenth year anniversary of LSD. The author, Siddharth Dhanvant Shangvi, had a reading of the same at NCPA in June. Since I couldn’t go (Cause I have a baby… DUH!!! ) I begged, pleaded, bullied and threatened my lil brother into going there and getting me an autographed book. This (according to my bro) means that he will not have to buy me anything for my birthday or Rakhi for the next five years (Ya… you wish). But it is so worth all the begging.

I know there is that last song of dusk which when taken to the mountains returns no echo… However, I found the echo of my life in this book and this love affair continues to enrich my life as well as my soul. Thanks SDS for this beautiful work of art. While I hope you will write something new soon, in my heart I wish you wouldn’t, cause nothing will ever come close to perfection that is “The last song of dusk”!!!

Pickle’s Room Project

I am the HAPPIEST when I totally BUSY!!!

I know it sounds nerdy and quite lame but it is so true. It is also the reason why I do not do so well during vacations. Anywho… I spent almost every day of the last month cooking up something new and now that I have fed my adorable darling T enough to give him a big paunch, I am looking for a fresh project ( the cooking continues but not the sole focus anymore). Pickle’s room is the next BIG project on my list. After two whole weekends of shifting, cleaning and arranging I finally got his room ready, furniture wise at least. Now I have started the task of painting his walls.

I remember feeling a little sad when I discovered Pickle was not a girl. I thought of all the cute things I could have crocheted for her or the million adorable frocks I could buy for her and felt a teeny weeny bit sad… actually a lot sad but once you look at pickle, it all goes away. While I was looking for things to paint on the walls of Pickle’s room, I finally thanked my stars for snails and puppy dog tails!!! I mean.. imagine if I had a daughter and if I had to decorate her room in soft pinks and “mauves”!!! seriously!!! Anywho… I have started with the door and one wall. This is the door :

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See what I mean about the colours? I can use dark ones and not feel bad.

Here’s what I painted on a small portion of the wall :

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I want to put “The Lion King” or “Mowgli” or “Winnie the pooh” on the other walls… But it will be quite an undertaking… Lets see. Will keep ya updated…

T

Being the self obsessed person that I am, it is always difficult to praise someone else. This post is dedicated to the one person in my life who has redefined the meaning of life for me. The one person who has become the heart and soul of my existence and the one person who inspires me to no end. I want to define him as my soul mate, my other and better half and even as my survival guide on this planet. But, it would still not do him justice.

I am sure by now you all know the story of how I met T, fell hopelessly in love and got married. T is very different from me as an individual. We do share a lot of likes and dislikes and even many principles, but there are also some glaring differences. And believe it or not these differences are the ones which make our life interesting, exhilarating and even challenging at times. Anywho, of late I read a couple of books, articles which made me realise that I am truly blessed to have T in my life as my partner. Hence this dedication. (This is also gonna serve as a Happy anniversary and a Happy father’s day… cause I am not gonna write two different posts praising you, I need that time to talk about… “Moi”!!!).

“Happy 4th Anniversary sweetheart”

It has been quite a ride till now and if these years are any indication of what is to come, I am sooper excited. T has stood by me all through these years. He has given me more freedom to be myself than my parents. I know it sounds weird that a guy has to “let” me be myself… but you know how it is… even though negligible, the whole line between the genders does exist even in a family like mine. T has not just supported my dreams but actually encouraged me to go ahead and achieve them at any cost.

He tolerates me… and I am not kidding when I say that I am a very difficult person to live with… I mean even I wouldn’t live with me… considering how anal and controlling I  am about things…. well… actually it would be probably awesome living with me… err….. I digress… So as I said, I am pretty impossible to live with and so hats off to T for actually making this work.

When he proposed and I said yes, there were a million conditions I put forth. I knew that most of the conditions would fade away or become obsolete soon but I still wanted it on record that I made those points. One of the main ones was that I am not ready to give up my name. Logical and administrative reasons aside, I was emotionally too attached to my name to change it. I was all up in arms ready to fight it out, however T just said yes… Not in a condescending kind of way… but more in a I-know-what-you-mean sort of way.

With the birth of our child, he surprised me further. When I suggested that we use my maiden name as the baby’s middle name, he agreed in a heartbeat. Although I never saw myself as the crusading feminist, I was glad that my baby has my name. There are million more examples of how great T is, but I mention just these two to illustrate how truly amazing he is and cause mentioning more than two would make him sound better than I am ;)!!!

All through these years if there has been one constant factor in my life, it has been T’s calm presence and the assurance that he will stand by me come what may. On our fourth anniversary, I just wanna wish you a beautiful year ahead .

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“Happy Dadda’s Day”

Technically Pickle should be writing this but since his pudgy fingers haven’t yet learnt the skill of touching the keys gently, and I do not want to see my keyboard being pummeled or eaten up, I shall be doing the honors. Before I had Pickle, I was sure that come what may I will recover soon enough to take care of the baby on my own in my own house. Being the ( irritatingly ) fiercely independent person that I am, I wouldnt have it another way. Staying with my mom or even having her over did not sit well with me.

What I hadn’t foreseen was my cesarean. Although I recovered fairly quickly, I wouldn’t have been able to do so without T around. From changing the baby a million times a day to washing his nappies to holding him all through the night, T did it all. I could barely manage to eat my food and get up to feed Pickle. I have been managing the baby all on my own since he was three weeks old and everyone around is amazed. My own mom is proud of me and my determination to do so. However, I could manage this feat only cause T was supportive, encouraging and always there for me. He has been my rock throughout.

So dear Dadda, after the countless hours you dedicated to our little Pickle, here’s wishing you a beautiful Dadda day. Love you loads.

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Note to T : Sweetheart, even though I taunt you for a million things and grumble and sulk and piss you off repeatedly, I just wanna let you know that I still love you more than life itself. And you know how true this is cause I am declaring this on my blog and you know how I HATE PDA. To my sweetheart. Love ya!!!

My First mother’s day

I am a total sucker for Hallmark holidays. So I will not only wish but make a huge deal of silly holidays… including sulking if T doesn’t wish me on “Wife’s Day” (Oh Yeah… there is something like that) or if my parents forget “Daughter’s Day” (Now that’s definitely a thing). Every year I put in a hell lot of effort in celebrating these days. For women’s day I usually create gift packages for all my women friends, for mother’s and father’s day I send flowers to in laws and bake stuff for my folks… Anniversaries and birthdays find me hooked on to google doing a ton of research and then buying a shit load of stuff.

That was the good part, the bad part is that I expect others to do the same for me and when they don’t I totally  blow a fuse and sulk it out. Anywho, this being my first mother’s day and all I decided that I had to make it special for myself cause T doesn’t really have the time and Pickle is too busy trying to put his big toe in his mouth to care about such trivial matters. So I bought a couple of cute things online, made a crude card (it should kinda look like what Pickle would have made for me if he had motor skills at month 5), wrappedd them all up in my favorite wrapping paper (not the foil kinds… the real paper kinds which makes an awesome noise when being ripped off) and informed T about what I would love to eat for breakfast.

So on the D day I get up and get spruced up with all kajal and stuff at 5 am… well thats when my day starts and I really really wanted to open my gifts. Thankfully, Pickle is also an early riser… so after he was cleaned and changed into something cute… I made T make a whole show of presenting me my gifts. We initially tried making Pickle gift them to me but since he was too concerned about getting them into his mouth, we ditched the plan. Then of course was the photography session which was mainly to document my first mother’s day. Pickle who usually loves the camera, suddenly decided that the bedsheet was the most interesting thing in the universe and would not be persuaded to look up at the camera at all… I even tried bribing him by telling him that he could eat the camera… but his love for the bedsheet triumphed and he was quite indifferent to any temptations around. So the pics basically have me posing around with this fake smile and fake surprised look. Ah… whateva…. thats what I wanted anyway.

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The food was prepared oh so lovingly by T and presented beautifully. Unfortunately, mommy duties took precedence and I think I finally ate my bacon and eggs at ten after Pickle nodded off for precisely 15 minutes when I managed to wolf it down.

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Overall… first mommy day… a grand success… ya it was a little forced and a little fake… but eh!!! I loved it anyway.

I know I am a little late… but here’s wishing all mommies a beautiful year ahead. As I wisely realised… being a mommy… is as amazing as it is tough!!! Kudos to all of us.

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A quick update

Hello again… I know I have been keeping ALL you readers waiting for my amahzzing POSTS… but Pickle being the mini-me has been hogging my complete attention since day one. So instead of writing a load of crap about how I was to busy in decoding the potty colour I would rather just start my post and give you an update.

Well, owing to my pregnancy brain and then a mushy baby brain, I shall confess quite proudly that I have lost all clues about time and people. I have absolutely no idea about what day, date or month it is unless it is with reference to Pickle’s age. Also, if any of you sweethearts thought that having a baby would make me more tolerant about people in general, you are SO VERY Wrong!!! If anything I have become more anti-social than ever. If I barely managed to tolerate “people” before, right now I barely mange not to loathe them completely.

So now that I have firmly established that I am as crazy and weird as before, here’s the update. I am loving my sabbatical from the workplace. Fine!!! I am loving being “Unemployed”. I never thought I would given how I love being among people (!!!) just so that I can ridicule and hate them… but being a stay at home wife and mom kinda suits me. The following paragraphs are going to be sooper doper braggy about my brand new mommy skills… so in case you have had enough of my narcissism, feel free to skip it… but in case you have missed my  self obsession… go right ahead and take a dip in it!!!

–          So the first month was like… Oh my gawd… why did I decide to have a child… I can’t change another nappy… When was last time I slept?

–          Second month was… Oh my  gawd… all I do the whole day is feed him burp him and put him to sleep…  Uh oh… He’s awake again… I don’t think I brushed today… or yesterday!!! What is sleep? Is there a “real” world out there??? Seriously???

–          By the time the third month of Pickle’s existence started… I was a pro at doing household chores along with attending to his needs. I could not only change a potty nappy in the middle of the night with almost no lights on… but also discuss the colour and consistency of it while eating my dinner. Then all I wondered was about why the hell was he growing up so quickly…

If planning for a baby and being pregnant was hard work… raising a child is … well more than that. When after the glorious nine months (yeah… now those months seem oh-so-glorious), Pickle finally landed on this earth, there were a million things I was unsure about. However, I was sure of a few things:

–          One – I would not just heal from the surgery in a weeks time, I would also be back to functioning like before ( like.. being a total nut case)

–          Two – however frustrating, exhausting or ridiculous it might seem to anyone, I would take care of the baby all by myself without much help ( like I would do his massage by myself and also bathe him on my own and take care of him the whole day without any breaks)

–          And three – irrespective of what all post delivery and child care books suggest, I would not become one of those new moms who completely forget about their husbands ( I would still talk to him and cook for him like I did before)

With my dearest Hubby’s help and mom’s encouragement I did bounce back to a normal (well… the definition of normal did undergo a drastic change) life. The first week was painful but I had T around… Mom was a big help… as she is well aware of my famous temper, she kept herself busy with all background tasks while letting me learn and carry out the main jobs of the baby. By the second month I was not only comfortable but taking care of Pickle all by myself. There were a million things I taught myself and another zillion that came naturally… overall it was a fun journey. Of course it didn’t seem so fun while travelling through it, but in retrospect, it gives me hope that I will be able to handle pretty much everything.

My third point took a little time to be put into action since even two months after the birth I was ridiculously possessive and obsessive about Pickle. Though I still am, I have learnt to share with T. And my cooking and baking are back on track… proof ( according to T) is his ever expanding waistline.

Overall, I think I totally rock at being a mom now. The start was a little wobbly but now I am so awesome amazing that it is actually scary.

Pickle, now happily into his 6th month can sit unsupported for a few seconds before toppling over facedown! He also loves grabbing onto anything in his line of vision and reach to promptly plop it into his mouth. An expert in turning over, he usually executes his rollovers the moment I place him in his crib. I would like to believe he recognises me … but his playful grin towards every random stranger kinda undermines that belief.

My reading had picked up pace till Pickle pie started hogging my complete attention. Other hobbies are still waiting patiently for return. Presently I am looking forward to Pickle’s annaprashan which has been scheduled on our anniversary…

Don’t worry, I shall start posting a little more regularly… however you can expect less bitchy posts from my end considering there are no subjects of around to direct my bitchiness at. Thats about it for this post… hold your breath for the next ones 🙂

So long!!!

Settling down.

My baby blues have finally flown out of the window… The days of uncontrollable crying and exhaustion are finally giving way to this awesome feeling that comes with motherhood. Pickle is two month old now and we are both getting the hang of it.

He has started smiling at random things, if I am lucky enough to be in the line of his sight, I even convince myself to believe that he is definitely smiling at me. He has also started cooing, its more like singing and gurgling at the same time and again most of his affections are showered on the trinkets hanging from his bouncy chair.

People continue to say stupid things and give us mindless advice. The other day someone wondered how I was so exhausted and had no time for myself… after all, the baby is only supposed to feed and then sleep… Mind you, this woman is actually the mother of two. T was quick to reply that Pickle forgot to read his own “Instruction Manual” and so didnt really know that he’s only supposed to feed and sleep!!!

Most of the others (including my parents at times), are somewhat wary of our style of parenting. I mean we have been taking Pickle out for drives ever since I had my stitches removed and could bear the bumps on the road. The way we dress him or already put him in a separate cradle to sleep at night have also raised a few eyebrows. T has a beautiful answer to that as well. He says, this is our very own “personal” kid. Along with the responsibility of raising him, we have also been given the chance to make our own mistakes. Plus I am sure everyone will agree, we won’t really do anything that could hurt Pickle.

Anywho, now that he manages to keep himself busy with his bouncy chair and hands (more about that in the next post), I find myself actually able to read books and cook as I did before this bugger arrived.

Oh by the way, just wanted to make a special mention of this spaghetti recipe. Tried it and loved it.

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Thats about it… Pickle, books and food… 🙂

Updates

Dear readers… I know I haven’t been regular and no one can blame me!!! With pickle around I barely even know which day date or year it is. I in fact am bound to the bedroom and have lost all sense of time. It isn’t day or night for me anymore… It is all about pickle’s feed time… or burps … or nappy changes … or the few moments of solace i get (like this one)… when my little angel conks off!

So a quick updates on Pickle and life in general before his wails shatter the walls of silence :

–  First of all, here’s wishing you all beautiful people an amazing new year. The first new years with Pickle was awesome for us. T and I were busy changing and burping him, so although we didnt realise when the new year snuck up on us, we were definitely delighted to have Pickle in our arms . I hope all of your wishes and dreams come true this brand new year and that you have a beautiful chapter added to your life.

–  The first week with Pickle was quite a nightmare, considering we were both absolutely clueless and my stitches ( had a c section) made it impossible for me to do much.

– By week two, we started to find our footing around the jagged edges of parenthood.

– A special hug and thanks goes out to my most amazing hubby T. Sweetheart when I say I really have no life without you… I absolutely mean it!!!

– With Pickle 3 weeks old, we have finally started to behave like absolute Pros. We can now change, feed, burp and put him to sleep with our eyes closed… Sometimes it is literally the case when I am too sleepy to open my eyes!

– Pickle has been a complete new revelation to both of us. I still look at him and feel this amazing sense of accomplishment in the fact that I literally created this adorable little human from the scratch. Of course it has brought into light a few fears… like how my impatience makes me the more frustrated parent… how T is so much more better with his calm and composed manner… Anywho… I am learning to be more patient each day.

– Oh, if anyone out there wants some sadistic pleasure out of my life right now… let me give you a few interesting facts :

1. I haven’t slept for more than 1 hour continuously since Pickle happened

2.  I literally live in my bedroom… I do not remember the last time I went out to even the balcony for some fresh air!

3. I havent spoken to any friends… family or even enemies in the last 3 weeks… I do try to keep in touch by messaging but talking has become a chore for me… cause whatever “free” time i get, I only want to lie around and do nothing.

4. My wardrobe has reduced to just “2” nursing gowns.

5. Although the TV is switched on for 24 hours… I have no idea what I am watchng

– My Life is all about Pickle and somehow it makes me happy … 🙂

That is all for now… will try and write some more…. Oh!!!! there he goes again…. bbye!!!

Dads will be dads…

I happened to like some pic which said, ” Happiness is buying more books that you can possibly read”.

And I suddenly received a notification that someone commented on it. I didn’t check it till just now and was surprised to see my Dad commenting on it. What made me ROFL was his comment ,” Math books”!!!

Gosh he will never understand how and why people read anything other than maths.

Love you dad for making me smile this early in the morning and brightening my day!

Dear parents, you need to control your kids. Sincerely, non-parents

Good one!!! ( hehehe lesson for me )

The Matt Walsh Blog

To the fan I lost yesterday:

I don’t owe you an explanation, but I thought I’d offer one anyway. I do this more for your sake than mine. You see, maybe, as you later suggested, I was in a bad mood. Maybe I could have been a bit more polite about it. Maybe I’m more sensitive to it now that I have kids. Maybe I’m just sick of hearing these comments about parents. Maybe I know that my wife has to take the twins with her when she goes grocery shopping sometimes, so she could easily be on the receiving end of your sort of bullying. Maybe I took it personally.

Whatever the case, there I was, walking down the aisles of the grocery store looking for the ingredients for a new chili recipe I wanted to try. I heard the kid screaming from a distance; the whole store heard…

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Random weird moment #213

As I walked into the sample collection unit of the local diagnostic centre, I was a little conscious cause suddenly people were staring at me. By the time I gathered myself and squeaked, “Urine Collection”, the attendant reached out to grab something rather than pointing me in some direction.

That’s when I realised I was carrying a bright yellow Tupperware glass…filled with water!

No wonder there were looks of amazement and curiosity.

😛

Moms : A Species

Question : Are all moms irritating and totally illogical?

Answer : Yes. If they are not, they are probably not as fantastic as they are supposed to be!!!

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My mom drives me nuts!!! And THAT is like the understatement of the century. While I was growing up, influenced by all the Linda Goodmans I could lay my hand on, I had attributed this conflict between the two of us as just something decided by our star signs. Leos and Scorpios never ever gel together. But over the years I have come to realize that it is not in the stars but in the whole fact that I am her daughter and she my mom!!! I remember our shouting matches which would eventually end with her stating the obvious that she was my mom and therefore had the last say in the matter. I usually reacted equally gracefully by banging my door in her face. In case the impact wasn’t loud enough, I would open it again and slam it all over again no matter how many times I would have had to repeat it and no matter how many of my wall frames would slide down to the floor with the impact!

When the time came for college admissions, I opted the one which was the farthest with the bleak hope that mom wouldn’t relocate with me and I would have all the freedom in the world to do “What I Wanted” . Of course little did I know that mom’s nagging and irritating suggestions would get amplified over long distance. Since my mom hates writing letters, I figured the calls would be once in a month or so and I could always mumble something and end it. However, stupid mankind had to go and invent silly mobiles. So now my mom had a personal assistant at her beck and call, who she would use to not just irritate me but also keep tabs on me. The phone did help me maintain one stand in life… I could still cut the call and end an argument in the middle of her statement… exactly like my door banging days… over long distance!!! How awesome!

Also, moms have this uncanny ability to know exactly when you are sick. Of course these were the only times when I welcomed her calls cause she is pretty much the only one who has the ability to reprimand and pamper you in the same sentence. However, my irritation would promptly return with my good health.

She is also a pandora’s box of all kinds of weird superstitious belief. And in my present state, her weird beliefs have pretty much won the war over all kinds of sensibility. She will not let me wear new clothes now… when I actually need new clothes cause I cannot fit into the older ones anymore. I have to listen to the Hanuman chalisa and ramayan but cannot visit the temple. My poor dad had to come all the way to my place to give my food cause I wasn’t supposed to carry fish at night!!! I still have to “sit” and wait for exactly 2 minutes if someone sneezes. With her its all about astrology or numerology… she would drive me crazy by calling up each morning with my lucky number and colour for the day!!! duh!!! She wouldn’t let me wear black for almost a year… six months before and six after my marriage.

And now I am not allowed ( IMAGINE!!!) to watch greys anatomy or dexter cause of the gore involved. Reasoning that I’m teaching pickle medicine doesn’t work with her. Every time I step out for watching a movie, she demands a whole synopsis to figure out whether or not I should watch it. She has even started censoring my books and music!!!

She has had opinions about everything in my life… and at times has forced them on me. I rebelled as any kid would, I complained to dad, who I thought was my co-conspirator against mom, I even threatened her with the dire consequences of running away with some random guy. And she very calmly grounded me for the rest of my life.

I have simply come to accept the fact that moms are a completely different and mutant species who sole purpose of being on the planet is to make their kids lives miserable!!! They have the seventh and eighth sense of being omnipresent and sensing every lie you even think of delivering!!! They can keep tabs on every breath you take and will be more than happy to ruin your experiences!!! But they are also the most forgiving creatures of all. For all the times I have shouted at her, berated her stupid ways or slammed the door in her face… she has always been there with a smile for me …

Looking back, I now see that I am literally her carbon copy. I take pride and pleasure in waking up at unearthly hours just so that I can cook lunch for hubby. I would go to any lengths to satisfy various demands of my work and personal life… even at the cost of ruining my health. I also have a knack for creativity and home decor. When I started cooking, I realized that most of the recipes came to me naturally… it is probably cause of all the times I stood in the kitchen arguing with her, while she calmly went on with her cooking. Even now I end up calling her with every little question I have about the house or kitchen.

As I now stand at the threshold of becoming a mom myself, I really wonder about the kind of mom I would turn out to be. Will I be a tiger mom, the helicopter parent… or the type who believes in being a “friend” to her kids?

All I pray is that I am as good as my own mom. If my child threatens to run away and slams the door in my face… I will know for sure that I am doing it right!!!

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On that note… I still hate you mom for making me eat gross veggies and making me chant ridiculous prayers!!!! :/

Love for lists.

I am a total sucker for lists. I love making and revising lists for all kinds of occasions and then I love following them to the T and crossing out stuff. I have lists for household chores, for day to day office work, for weekends, for the topics I need to blog about or the ones that I need to talk to my hubby about. I have a books-to-buy and another one for reading.

With Pickle on the way, I now have a whole new topic for my lists. So ma has asked me not to buy ANYTHING for Pickle before the grand introduction into the world. Being the impatient types who-needs-to-do-everything-right-now, I do have trouble keeping up with this stupid restriction. However I have found relief in my “Lists” for pickle.

So now I surf the net looking awesome stuff for the coming times. I have separate sheets on an excel workbook for pretty much all ages till Pickle just about starts going to college!!! ( Now my love and obsession with excel sheets is simply another topic that I will yap about later). So my excel is colour coded, segregated by ages and marked with priorities and types. If that wasn’t enough, I printed out the whole damn thing just to poke it under hubby’s nose, cause he would never get around to reading it otherwise.

I am pretty sure the list will stay cosily on my laptop forever without anyone ever bothering to go through it when the actual shopping is being done. But at least it helps me feel in control of something.

Right now its sunday evening, and I am pretty much out of interesting things to-do on my list, hence this awfully unnecessary and boring post. Now that you have actually sat through and read the whole thing… who’s the sucker ???

😉 so long!!!

To my little poochi poo ( my brother… who’s not a pug!!!)

In the last 25 years of my life, the number of atrocities I have dealt out to my brother are simply horrible to recount. I have pinched him and scratched him … and if his hair is missing in patches, that is my contribution too.

I have woken him up in the middle of the night by pinching only to tell him that his toe was on my side of the bed. I have locked him in dark rooms and stopped the lift midway to blackmail him for silly things. I have sulked on every single birthday of his till I too was given all the gifts he got. I have grown my nails just to make sure I could do enough damage to him. I have used the “girl” card a million times just so that he was punished instead of me. It is not that he hasn’t taken his revenge… but he is like 4 years younger… so I still won.

And if the physical abuse wasn’t enough, I have managed to excel in every field in school and left shoes of a size too big for him to ever fill out. Moronic people kept comparing him to me which not only made him stubborn but also made him hate me. ( thank you for your help dearest incompetent teachers).

But over the years, we have only grown to respect the individuals we have turned into. We are poles apart in pretty much every aspect of our lives. I am ridiculously stubborn and he’s a push-over. I will die of shame if I am not half an hour early for every appointment and he will probably start getting ready at that time. I love good food… and his order at every restaurant, be it leopolds or oberoi, is chicken biriyani. Every single bone, muscle and blood vessel in his body is lazy as hell and I can’t stop working even in my sleep. I love to stay home with a book and chocolate whereas he has to be OUT no matter what. If you think I am talkative… he is million times me…. He is a total momma’s boy and I am daddy’s little princess. He will take a million hours to get ready and I take hardly 5 minutes to slip into anything that doesn’t smell. He is selfless and helpful whereas you couldn’t find anyone who’s more selfish than I am. He is technically challenged… well so am I but I am still better.

After I left home for college, we both realized the important roles we have played in each others lives. He has always been my sounding board and me his punching bag and vice versa. We now talk about grown up stuff. He shares his love life details and I give him unwanted gyaan. I crib about my life and he tells me I deserve it. He tells me his fear and I laugh at them. I tell him about my hopes and dreams and he certifies that I am totally bonkers.

At the end of the day, I still yearn to call him up just to shout at him and he still calls me up to irritate the hell out of me. If that’s not true love … what is. In spite of our differences and ridiculous disagreements, I know for a fact that when the sun goes down and I start to mumble unintelligent stuff to random strangers… he will still be around to push my buttons and make me miserable!

Riksie…. I LOWE you… so please buy me something nice 🙂 oh … Happy Rakhi sweetie pie 🙂

I love Rakhi!!!

To quote Justin Rao, I love Rakhi 🙂

Every school, college or locality has these girls who pretty much rule the day on rakhi… and these are the ones the boys run away from. Now there are three reasons why they run away :

  1. They are the beautiful ones who the boys hope to pataofy at some hypothetical time in their lives and do not want to mar their ridiculously imaginary “chance” by allowing them to become siblings!!!
  2. They are those totally annoying ones who, after becoming a Rakhi sister, would bully them into buying more gifts that a girlfriend, would emotionally blackmail them till death and simply irritate the life out of them.
  3. They are normal, but might influence the 1st and the 2nd types to tie rakhis to unsuspecting guys.

Well, I proudly belong to the 2nd category. All my siblings and the rakhi brothers that I have managed to “collect” over the 29 years of my existence will willingly vouch for this fact.  The ones that I have lost touch with or haven’t stayed connected to due to ridiculous fights will probably try to hide and pretend they are dead … but they will still happily vouch for it.

Why girls tie rakhi:

  1. They are repulsed by the guy and live in the constant fear that one of those repulsive creations of god just might propose them. By tying them a rakhi they are actually protecting themselves from the guy…
  2. They love the attention and all the pampering that they can get. Who better than brothers J
  3. They are the bharat mata types who believe in the Indian pledge that all Indians are my brothers and sisters and are on a campaign to convert it into a fact. Also, they have big dollar dreams so they wont be bothered with trying to marry any of these “Indians”

Again, I would love to believe that I belong to the 2nd considering I am too ugly to be propositioned by any random repulsive guy 😛 and cause I have no dollar dreams.

I have bullied my brothers to carry my bag, give me their most expensive possessions, to feed me an unlimited supply of chocolates of all varieties and bear my humiliating tantrums in public.

I know for a fact that even decades of therapy will not heal their tortured souls and that this year wont be any different when I hurl my choicest abuses at them along with emotionally laden threats over the long distance to get them to buy me something pretty…

So here’s wishing all my adorable brothers a beautiful Rakshabandhan and an amazing year ahead( well I am your sister… so that’s a given!!!).

You have borne all the repercussions of my tale tattling

You have been the bigger person in spite of being the younger one

You have always protected me when required

You have loved me through my rage filled tantrums

You have pampered me while I was busy abusing the hell out of you

You have listened to the thousand cribs I make each hour

You have lent me 100s of your pristine handkerchiefs to wipe away my tears

You have spent all your pocket money for my munches, lays and pencil boxes

You have happily given me your presents so that I could break them

You have never questioned when I have asked you to go and bully people around

You have tolerated my pinches and punches with a smile

You have never held a grudge for the million times I tortured you

You have always come back to me and continued loving me even when I stopped talking to you

You have also managed to always… always irritate me till I burst out crying

You have kept me safe… and happy since I have known you

I know I will continue to irritate and bully you for the years to come. However, on this special day, here’s a big hug to you. Just cause you have been around in spite of knowing me so well.

Love you bhai…

Disclaimer : I might be under a lot of hormonal changes at this time and hence this post shouldn’t be considered to be norm by any chance. 

I will definitely return to being my bitchy self with starting immediately. Beware… I will bite!!!

Also, please send your gifts soon… I don’t really have my entire life to wait for it :/ I wrote nice things about you… now you send me stuff 🙂

A lost angel…

Looks are deceptive : an adage which stands true for pretty much everyone around. But when it comes to my dear friend Vikrant, it misses a step.

Vikrant was this tall, handsome looking guy with a naughty yet charming smile. On a first glance, you would think he would be this know-it-all-arrogant-macho kinda guy who would just be a total snob with everyone… you couldn’t be more wrong!!!

Although he seemed a little shy at first, he could make you feel at home as soon as you spoke to him. He exuded a warmth and a sense of belonging. Although a typical “hatta katta” person of a brilliant height, he was a gentle person. He would never ever make fun of you or hurt you intentionally.

Bhaiya – is what we all fondly called him. Although he loved me as his little sis, he hated that I called him bhaiya in front of others… He used to say… it makes him sound like an universal bhai!!!. The fondest memory that I have of him is of him feeding me food cause I was unwell. Come rain or shine, bhaiya was a beautiful and ever smiling presence in all our lives. In times of need and sorrow we would seek him out to burden him with our troubles and were never ever disappointed. We knew for sure that he would always be there for us… our own bhaiya!!! 

But I guess god had a higher purpose planned out for him.  He was too good for this ridiculous world and I sincerely believe he is still his charming and happy self… wherever he is. RIP Bhaiya.

Although true, this whole thing feels so weird and untrue…. after all I just spoke to him a few days back and we joked about totally random stuff under the sun. I took his address cause as usual I wanted to send him a Rakhi… and also gave him a strict reminder of my birthday… It is plain painful to think I will never hear that sonorous laughter of his at every crackpot joke I cracked… or his fond way of calling me gudiya… Thanks bhaiya… for being in our lives and proving that good people still exist around us.

 

We love you so very much!!! RIP.

Not enough time…

There are those days when you would happily laze around on your bed for the whole day without a freaking care in the world and then there are those when you wake up with your “freak” on and no matter what you do the whole day, it continues to freak the living daylights out of you!!!

Today is definitely such a day. For some weird reason or the teeny weeny one in my tummy, I had a sleepless night. After tossing and turning for nearly the whole night I promptly woke up at 4 with a whole new agenda. It suddenly dawned on me that there is like a shit load of stuff to be done before the new member makes an appearance and that I would soon be out of commission.

My maid kinda faced the full fledged brunt of it as I gave her task after task to finish. And she wasn’t even done with half of it when I left home. Hmmphhh!!! evening wasted now! And now I am freaking out on the million other things I was supposed to get started this weekend. Four books need to be reviewed, three movies need to be made fun of! My entire house has at least 5 open books which are nowhere nearing their last chapters. Then there’s the whole crochet handicraft shop idea that was supposed to be started this weekend. And the chocolate in my fridge which was supposed to be turned into a mousse!!!

And if this wasn’t enough, there is like a million other things that I would want to do.

– Read the bajillion (thanks to old spice ad for this awesome word) nice blogs that I have only seen in the passing

– Watch parenthood episodes, which have been sitting impatiently in my laptop

– Clean my cupboard

– Get my medical papers in order before the next check up

– Talk to friends ( especially the ones whose calls I rejected stating that I would get back to them immediately)

– Get my photo albums in order

– Revise my ipod’s playlist

– Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I give up… too much to do… I wanna snuggle up in blankie with bon-bon and sleep!!! blah!!!!

Of Shuffles and Nanos…

I hate when this happens…

Both my ipods ( a regular shuffle and a tiny shuffle) suddenly conspired to ditch me and stop working. One wouldn’t charge and the other wont increase its volume. So after careful consideration of my ever decreasing bank balance and the “Need” and “Want” list I decided that an iPod was a definitely a “need” buy considering the dependence of my sanity on music.

So I spend like 3 hours getting excited about it, 3 more trying to arrange my money between my loan and other commitments , 2 hours trying to convince myself of the “Need” so that I do not feel guilty of the purchase and almost 5 hours researching the iPod nano. ( Dear boss, all through this time, I was multi-tasking and working really really hard at all the works assigned to me).  Once all decided, I get home with a skip in my step (which is pretty much like an elephant’s in my condition), and announce to whoever would care to lend me their ears that I am gonna buy the iPod nano!!!

I can’t stop talking about its awesomeness… I sing and breathe of nano till I fall asleep and dream about it. And then this morning, just to taunt my old iPod, I try to operate it, and Voila!!! it actually Works…. I hate you old iPod!!! I so hate you… :pppppppppffffffftttttt!!!!

:/

Anonymity

I am a BIG attention seeker. I adore the limelight and thrive beautifully in it. Been a pampered brat all throughout and so the whole attention seeking/grabbing/hogging thing comes Pretty naturally to me. However, of late, I have found a serenity in the anonymity I have managed to create for myself. It is whole different realm of feelings and satisfaction that I have managed to glean out of the fact that no-one is bothered or even aware of my existence anymore.

Do you find it weird? I mean I used to thrive on attention, sulking at every possible moment when I was ignored even unintentionally. It was pretty much my life’s motive to exist in everyone’s universe… and have this whole dramatic life where everyone I know would literally swoon over me and give me the royal treatment. Well, I would have found it weird had I been aware of the transition. But, there was no transitional phase. (Or so I would like to believe). It is almost as if I woke up one morning and found I had vanished into the oblivion, and people didn’t even care anymore.

I figured I would be devastated… or depressed.. or at least miffed by the whole “vanished off the face of earth” phenomenon I was a part of… But strangely, I hardly realized it while it was happening. And once it had happened, I found myself not just unaffected, but weirdly gleeful at the thought that no-one would bother about me anymore. I mean,  yeah I still have the family and the tons of relatives who pretty much are aware of every step I take, but there won’t be hordes of friends and so called well wishers clamoring for my time and attention.

I know I am being selfish and rude too, but when you are satisfied with your life… you do not really need to go around blabbering about it to the rest of the world. Ok… my life isn’t happening… I aint earning the big bucks or buying every freaking brand on the shelf… I am, as some would say, stuck in a rut. But I have come to love and own this life of mine. I feel content with it. Yeah I have lost of bragging points of working in some big company or moving around with the a-listers… but this is what gives me happiness now. And somehow people do not understand this. So I used to defend it… explain it to the ones I called friends. And then I realised, it doesn’t matter. They are too busy in their own worlds to see what in my world makes me glow with inner peace and joy. That’s when I also discovered that I had lost a lot of friends due to the absence of anything common to share and talk about. And I was ok with it. A few days later I accepted it and moved on. I did not mind being forgotten by so many of my close friends, I did not mind them not knowing whether or not I was still alive. And finally now I am in a place where I love this anonymity. I love that I don’t have the urge to broadcast my good or bad news to the world. The ones who still are in touch have ceased being “friends” on my list. They have rightfully claimed their place as my family in my heart.

Maybe this is what people refer to as “growing up”! Well that makes me very sad… cause I hate growing up. So lets just call it.. wisdom and leave it at that.  ( My blog- my opinions and my rules!!! Deal with it)

So here’s to the tranquil anonymity I have been enjoying and which now feels like an integral part of my life.

Authors and social media

Of late, due to the whole intrusion or availability of numerous social media platforms, authors have come a step closer to their readers. As I sit through endless posts by a favorite author of mine I really wonder if this new step is a good thing or bad.

Books and their content were always open to interpretation and never bound to the author’s mindset or thought process. A novel or poem used to be a collection of thoughts the author would pen down and then set free. We would then capture the same and mold them according to our feelings and imagination. It gave us the freedom and the joy of interpretation. Something even movies based on books do not give space for. Which is the main reason why I love reading books. Also, being away from the author and his/her writing process or inspirations gave me complete control over a book and its story.

However, this seems to be changing now. I have at least four authors on my friend list. Most of their posts are about promoting their books and tours and all kinds of awards. All this seems fine… but it somehow diminishes the magic of the story for me when they push so hard for a sale. I know its their bread and butter and everything in today’s world is about numbers… and blah and blah! But I think I preferred a time when these authors remained a name on my book shelf or a reference page on Wiki. I preferred when they did not “explain” why they wrote a certain story a certain way. I preferred the time when I would have felt ecstatic to receive a hand written note from my favorite author.

With FB and goodreads and Twitter, they have started seeming too next doorish… and I do not like it this way. I also have started hating when you interpret their books a certain way and they get all defensive about it. They should learn to let go of their creations and in case they do not like our interpretations, they should just shut themselves in a room and never ever see the light of day!

 

Incompetency is a disease

There are a zillion things that I have learnt from my father. Punctuality, sincerity and perseverance. The most important lesson though came during our shoe polishing efforts. Yes, my brother and I used to polish all the shoes in the household by turn. Starting sunday, every alternate day we would polish all the black shoes to be worn the next day. And unlike our counterparts abroad, we didn’t get paid for our chores. We were supposed to help ma in the kitchen and dad in the garage without hoping for any remuneration in return.

We were taught about being competent in our jobs from that early age. My father had a very clear idea and advice for us. He told us, he didn’t care whether we ended up as engineers, shoe shiners or even a drain cleaner. What he really cared was how competent we were in our jobs. He understood that we often do not get what we really want… and that is life. But to make the best of what is handed out to us, is totally upto us and it didn’t have any shortcuts. Even till this day, he abhors incompetency. He tells me, even if you do your job for 1 hour a day, give it your 100 %. You may not be perfect… but the job you do, has to be. If you are handed something new, it is up to you to learn new skills to tackle the same. Do not ever give me the excuse that it is not your cup of tea.

Somehow this advice stuck with me. True to his words, I have never really got to do anything that I really love. I have been through various industries, job profiles and companies. What has been constant throughout is my dedication to what I do. I remember the first time I cleaned a slum area during the scouts and guides cleanliness drive – my teacher actually told me that my area literally shone. The time when I had to do welding and carpentry as a part of the first year of my engineering college… I surpassed even the mechanical students and received an A for my efforts. Be it the mundane task of cleaning excel sheets of addresses and couriering a million posters to customers or questioning slum dwellers about their TV viewing habits… I have always given each task my 100% however ridiculous/boring/tiresome it seemed. I have learnt new things to keep myself updated in my job and managed to be good at it.

I am just trying build a background to explain why I HATE incompetency. My simple funda – It doesn’t F-ing matter whether you love what you do or not (Trust me millions of us Hate what we do). What matters is the fact that you are getting paid for it ( again no matter how less or more). If you take up a job Do it. Don’t sham!!! So even if you have to stand in the hot sun and hold the door for a 1000 snooty bitches in Gucci glasses, do it with a smile. You applied for the job. It is all about being dedicated to the job. You may have the best of education and all the money in the world. You may hate everyone in the world and even hate the company you work for. You may be the most shrewd SOB on planet earth. But the one thing you need to be true to is your JOB.

Even if you are at the job till something better comes along… or for some financial pressures… or maybe you just wanna earn some pocket money … or for timepass…. be loyal to the job. Learn…. keep learning to become better. You can be ugly… introvert… a booze hound … a womanizer… a book worm or even a freak, but you have to be excellent at what you do. Stop running around the bush with excuses… stop playing the blame game… stop pretending to work if you are really not working… stop being the teacher’s pet so that you get away with your incompetency.

Just stop cause trust me however brilliantly you try and cover up your shortcomings, everybody can see them. They are too polite or indifferent to let you know about it… but they DO know!!! They make fun of you and laugh at your antics. Your incompetency will never cease unless you stop pretending to yourself about your awesomeness and take steps to rectify the gaps.

Of course there are those who think incompetency is their birthright. Especially the ones in the govt offices. From taking 3 hour long breaks ( even if their official breaks are for 1 hour, they would lounge around before and after the break making it 3 hour long), to taking a whole decade to sift through five pages – these guys actually believe that they are being paid to irritate us and make our lives miserable.

We keep talking about corruption as a disease… I believe incompetency is an bigger threat and an epidemic in our country. God save us…

So dear incompetent logs of lumber, kindly get off your behinds to actually do some work without pretensions.

Women’s Day 2013

I read these lines a long time back, but they have stuck with me over the years and they still make so much sense… they define a woman in some beautiful terms…

An angel of truth
And a dream of fiction
She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose
She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose
She’ll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She’ll be stronger than brandy and milder than milk
At times she’ll be vengeful, merry and sad
She’ll hate you like poison and love you like mad

So Here’s to all the women in my life. You make me so proud of being one . I have learnt so much from you guys. A quick mention :

Ma : I learnt grace, persistence and loyalty

Choto ma : I learnt how to be amicable

Nisha : You taught me about the various colours in the rainbow… quite literally

Smita : You teach me patience

Charu : I have learnt about  strength and tolerance from you

Amruta : I learnt kindness from you

May this year and the rest be totally amazing for all you guys.

Smita: All the very best for the beautiful new chapter of your life

Nisha : Dude go get married…

Amruta : Please come home soon

Charu : This month defines a whole new chapter of your life… wish you all the happiness for it

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This is what I made for all my friends ( and my ma) out here. A chartpaper box with a flower made out of tissue paper. Crocheted Earrings and heart and homemade almond chocolates.

I believe I have covered all the essentials : Jewellery, flowers, love and chocolates 🙂

Happy Women’s day to all my readers!!!

A few Stolen Moments…

IMG_0754Stolen moments… away from the world, give us time to enjoy each other’s company. It helps us to create silences filled with new meanings. It helps us clear our head of the prejudices and stresses of everyday life to view each other in a whole new light. It helps us reconnect over random gossip and utter silliness. It reintroduces us to the slightest of emotions and thoughts of the other. Stolen moments … away from the world are what helps us take a break from being us… and helps us… to be us!!!

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I know it sounds strange… but after marriage, things like everyday shopping and ironing somehow start to take precedence over our love life. We still used to spend those precious 5 minutes with our tea in the balcony… But our talks eventually used to turn towards the routine, ” Did you switch ont he geyser?”, ” Did I turn the gas off”… and the likes. So the weekend before my hubby took off… we decided to take the day off from being married and responsible and pamper ourselves.

We went to a seaside resort not very far from home and indulged in a lot of food, sun and the sea! IMG_0953IMG_0781  

It is a whole new feeling… when you get to laze around in the bed without having to get up to answer the doorbell… or heat the milk or even bother about cooking. Makes a world of difference to us. So we spent the entire morning watching ridiculous hindi movies and making fun of them… then we feasted of huge amounts of food… till the bursting pointIMG_0798IMG_0799

… after a delightful afternoon siesta… we romped on the beach aimlessly…

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and the evening finally ended with Icecream for dinner… yummm!!!

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We plan to do more of these outings… whenever he’s back… 🙂

So Long!!!

Day 1 : I cried

I did… it was weird. I have become used to my hubby being around all the time. I used to hate it initially and complained often about how I didn’t have any “me” time anymore. But over time, I began to enjoy it and actually started doing the same. So when he went for a haircut I went along even though I had to wait outside. And when he went to work on a weekend I tagged along till the point I could. This utter “chipkuness” has now become an integral part of my life. And it was weird to come back to an empty house. Being married to a defence personnel is not as easy as it looks. My friends see my house and believe its all that easy… what they never see if the loneliness that I have to deal with when hubby’s away. They see the sea view and go “wow…” … what they miss out is that the view withers… when he’s not around

I was quite dull the whole day knowing that it would be a very very long time before he finally came back home. I missed chatting with him on our drive back about my whole day. I missed fighting with him about dinner… it was just so sad that I finally broke down and cried. Although it made my eyes puffy and my nose red… it felt a little better. I had bravely declared to him that his absence will just help me complete a plethora of craft projects that I had undertaken but never finished. I told him how it would be a relief to have the house all to myself and not have another human spoiling it all… I told him all that and now I feel absolutely terrible…

I miss you L… I missed seeing my toothbrush with the paste on it. I missed being served with my tea. I missed making up a weird excuse to avoid sitting in the balcony. There were no fights today morning over the TV remote, and surprisingly I switched on VH1 just for a fleeting belief that you were around. I didn’t pack two lunch boxes… and the prawn curry didn’t taste as good. I had to drive back myself and the trip somehow took double the time it usually does. There wasn’t anyone to pull me out for a walk… no one to get me water at night …

I miss you… terribly… come back quickly please 😦

The Li’l Things in life ( 13 Jan 2013)

Last weekend we hosted our first party for my hubby’s course-mates. It was a 12 hour long cooking marathon for me which ended on a beautiful note… so no complaints. After a tiring Saturday, we decided to simply laze around on Sunday. But being the restless type, I didn’t feel good just lounging around in the house and doing nothing. Since it was too late to make any long distance trips, we decided to do what any tourist would, in Vizag.

We went for a long drive along the beach road. Visited the Submarine museum and went over to Kailashgiri. It was my sweetheart’s first visit so I ate his brain out while telling him a million stories about my visits there. We rode the train.. had street food… were too lazy to wait in line for the dumb cable car and even lay on the grass in a park to watch the sun set.

It did seem a little cheesy in the beginning… I mean we have pretty much lived our entire lives in vizag… we see the sea everyday… and submarine museum???? Seriously??? But it was fun. We ended the day by going to this tiny and unimpressive looking place called “the flying spaghetti monster”. Contrary to its location or ambience, the food was to die for. I didn’t want my risotto to end and even licked the plate… well I do such embarrassing things from time to time… cause it is so much FUN.

Overall, we really had an amazing time. It reminded us of the simple joys in life… of the happiness that comes from eating hot peanuts from a roadside vendor… or buying that ridiculous heart shaped balloon … holding hands and making fun of the couples sitting behind bushes… or being a child while riding the toy train… or finding beauty in things that we see daily and take for granted. It was a truly awesome day!

The only sad part??? we forgot to carry our new dslr… 😦 missed photo op! koi na… Next time!!!

The HR at my office today distributed black ribbons for us to wear as a sign of solidarity with the delhi rape victim. And I knew I couldn’t keep quiet about it any longer. I have tried to keep my mind’s peace and my mouth shut for a long time cause of many reasons but this act of hollow pretence has irked me enough to come out of my comfort zone and talk about it.

I have read every bit of news that has ever been released on this case, I have felt as disgusted as I could about the heinous details of the crime, I have shed as many tears I could for the shattered dreams of the girl, her lost future and her grieving family. But as I started surfing the net I found that this case wasn’t even indicative of the situation that exists beyond the four walls of our own space. And in the midst of all this I have gone numb. I still do feel sorry… and I still feel disgusted but I end up asking myself… what now? Will the laws finally change? In fact it is not even about the laws anymore… it has been and will always be about the cultural mentality of this country. Will we be able to provide solace to the family by cancelling our parties? Or will the mentality of our society change overnight just cause I now have a black ribbon pinned on me? Or will my gender finally find an equal footing since I have updated my FB profile pic to symbolize my silent protest?

Let me clarify that these measures are brilliant, and I feel proud that my generation is actually concerned over this matter. But I again find myself asking a silly question… what about the others? What about the young girl who was kidnapped and sold to a brothel… the young bride who was beaten mercilessly, the women who are being raped by their husbands, the young girls who were bashed up publicly for being in a pub, the women whose characters’ were doubted for just dressing up in party wear… why didn’t we take up arms when all these things happened… are happening…??? This incident is definitely of epic proportions… but so were the others… I somehow feel fighting on this one issue alone is like trivializing all the other brutal crimes against women which happen every single day around our country.  This incident has just been an eye opener… but so much work is still left… even while the country was in the grips of this mishap… girls were getting raped… wives were getting beaten … in general our gender was still being biased against!

What will a single law do? There are laws against dowry… against female infanticide… did those do any good to us? What needs to be changed are attitudes… mentality… the entire ideology our society’s based on. The way boys and girls and brought up. the way they are educated… the way they are treated at work and the way they are treated in a marriage. All this WILL NOT change with a single law… it WILL NOT change overnight… but there’s always a starting point… and hopefully somebody does something about THAT rather than coming up with black badges and dots.

I will change my FB status… I will pin the black badge … and I will look defiantly into the eyes of every guys who speaks to my breasts instead of me… but will somebody tell me that all this will lead to a safer world? A safer time when I can wish for a girl child knowing she would be embraced and not shunned for being independent? A society which will stop burdening us with every guilt of this world? A community which will finally let us breathe and live as a human being rather than a commodity?

As we drown in our helplessness and look around for a easy fix for our inability to contribute anything to this movement… we quietly pin the badge and straighten the halo on our heads… put on a sad face and utter abuses… come up with brilliant castrations plans for the rapists… give suggestions for way forward and then in a week’s time when the latest movie gets released, shift our attention to that. Did any of us ever try to find out what happened to those girls who were bashed in mangalore? Or offer a shoulder to the wife next door who gets beaten every day?

Maybe it’s time for our gender to finally take a stand. Forget laws… and protests… fight when you can…. In every way you can. Fight for your rights… be brave cause there is nobody who would fight for yourself.. Be safe cause despite a 100 laws… men will be men. Be you!!! Cause you’re wonderful the way you are!

Rising above!!!

No angry rants… no silly cribs…

Do not fret dear readers… I’ve not grown up overnight or decided to become a better human being… but I am trying to “rise above” a little bit… ok… maybe just for today…

So I’m going to think about my awesome family… my beautiful house… and loads of future children 😉 No back biting pretend-friends… no political games…  no job stealing nincompoops!!!

Here’re some beautiful views of the ocean from my balcony… Its nothing short of a pure miracle.. Hope you enjoy these too …

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Heart rules!!!

As I put my pen to paper … and scribble around till I find the right words, my mind gushes with all that it has to say… but my heart’s empty… and for some weird reason … my heart seems to be the boss today! My mind has so many stories… so many experiences… and so many anecdotes in store… I can hear it in the background.. screaming its lungs out… begging me to write about so many things around me… my first experience as the masters of ceremonies… my beautiful Sunday lunch… the presence of my husband beside… but my heart’s moody today… it has been having poetic conversations with itself… and somehow instead of guiding my hand.. it drifts into some melancholy thoughts… thoughts which bring about a sharp pain… but also a smile… thoughts which probably do not mean as much to the daily happenings in my life… but are an integral part of who I am… who I want to be. So here goes…. My conversations… with myself…

I look forward to life… and not in way of every day is succeeded by another… but more like… living life everyday… everyday is filled with routines… how I get up exactly at the same time… how I finish cooking at exactly a particular time… the time for my morning walk… followed by my stretches… and then how I get ready just in time to leave… but there’re so many changes to this very routine… yesterday the sky was a bright orange… the day before… a trail was visible on it.. marked with bright red as if a meteor had just found its way home… and today… the moon stayed back to wish me a beautiful morning. A few days back I saw a lonely stray dog scampering about… and yesterday a pet literally flew out at me… scaring the living daylights out of me… some days there’s a chill in the breeze, one that makes my nose bleed… and other days there’s a weird stuffiness I feel even out in the open… my tea a few days back was too sweet…. Today… it was just perfect … I forgot my watch yesterday… like I forgot my water bottle the day before…. Everything is set in a routine… everything is so different from what it was….

I am happy… that’s not an exaggeration… not a lie and definitely not a consolation to where I am today. I feel happy in the very core of my being…. By the time you reach the outermost layer to my existence, you might find streaks of sorrow and discontent… but I wear it indifferently… cause I know… I am happy within. I have a crappy job… one that I never thought I would take…. But my boss rocks!!! I live in this total godforsaken place which half the people haven’t even heard about…. But my house boasts of a view that everyone’s jealous of… while they count minutes in the cramped apartments… I enjoy the sea breeze every morning… My marriage is probably the best thing to have happened to me… ever… of course I miss my single days… days when I could buy everything and be bankrupt by the month end… and not worry at all. Days when Saturdays meant dance movie and dinner…. Not spring cleaning of the house… days when I could eat ice cream for dinner and not bother… but somehow… my better half seems to make marriage seem like an endless adventure… every day we learn something new…. Everyday we invent something new… a nickname… a short form… a weird way of calling … every days… amidst our busy lives and routines… we find peace… peace in the presence of the other.. peace in the fact that we have each other…

My heart’s throwing a hissy fit today… demanding to be heard… wanting to let everyone know… I’m happy!