Eight years back when we decided to get married, I knew it wasn’t going to be a cakewalk. After a lot of this and that, the wedding date finally arrived. I wasn’t a happy bride. Apart from the fact that I had to dress up and sit on display for hours, there was the usual boy-family issues that were bringing me down. At one point in time, I felt broken. While I knew there would be lot of hurdles with a love marriage, I didn’t count on my parents being hurt and harassed in the process of me getting my happily ever after.
There was this point in time when I decided I didn’t want to go through with it. Since the whole wedding hoopla was just an obligation to our parents and family, it was getting way out of hand. I was sulky, hungry (there was a lot of fasting) and mighty pissed at being the ‘girl’. I told T the same. I told him that while I would love to get married to him and spend the rest of my life with him, I wasn’t sure the wedding was that great an idea.
T told me, it would be way too messy to stop the wedding and all the arrangements that both the families had done for us. He asked me to hold on a little longer and go through with the whole thing. I didn’t know what to do. I wondered if I made the right choice. I wondered if I did get it right. Was this really the person I wanted to be married to? That is when T said to me, ‘This is just the wedding. It maybe the beginning of our journey together but it is in no way an indication of things to come. Our marriage is going to be so much better. I promise you that’. I agreed and as a result my wedding was not as bright as I would have hoped. I suddenly experienced the scales shifting as time and again I was put in my place since I was the ‘girl’, as time and again my parents were sidetracked. I bit down my feelings and went through the motions just to keep peace. Do I regret it? Of course! However, without going through those few not-so-happy days I wouldn’t have got the marriage of my dreams.
So, yes, he didn’t stand up for me or for my parents that day. But ever since that day, he’s been my rock. He’s listened to my complaints about everything under the sun and never judged me. He may forget dates and to buy me gifts even after my countless reminders but there are these little things he does that make me fall in love with him everyday. At a single outburst about cooking, he takes me out for dinner. When I need to stay in the kitchen with a lot of baking or cooking, he drags in his bean bag and phone to keep me company. No matter how much I complain about him being stuck to his phone, he always gets me my kindle at meal times. Every time I turn too bitchy… he quietly sneaks out to get me loads of food. At restaurants, he always orders extra that can be parceled for my midnight snacking. When I was struggling with Pickle he would take care of me. Whenever I take a stand, he supports me no matter what.
We have learnt so much about each other over the years and surprisingly, even now there are so many things we keep learning every day. With Pickle our relation has only strengthened and one can only dream of the kind of support I have received from him when it concerns raising Pickle. While I may rant and rave, I know in my heart that whatever happens, he’s going to be there for me. Maybe he won’t stand up and fight with his folks for me or make drastic changes in his personality, but he will always support me in his own way.
So, while today does signify the wedding and its 7th year anniversary, I am celebrating 7 years of being together. 7 years of ridiculous fights over where to go for dinner, 7 years of my taunts, reminders and a truck load of complaints, 7 years of my cooking and baking experiments, 7 years of him forgetting to buy me gifts and my grand gestures, 7 years of me turning to him for comfort, solace and understanding, 7 years of him still being my rock, my best friend and the best life companion I could have ever dreamt of.
Here’s celebrating 7 years of a work-in-progress marriage!!!