This post is to publicly shame my work wifey, N.R, who after getting engaged has happily and cruelly forgotten all about me. This is also a warning to the would-be Mr N R, regarding his encroachment upon my time with NR.
Initially I was too busy to notice that NR had stopped messaging or calling me up as I was blissfully buried in nappies and baby talk. I finally got some breathing space and realised that the b*tch hasn’t remembered me AT ALL!!! This is totally unacceptable. I know, I know, a lot of people have forgotten me and I really don’t give a flying rat’s ass!!! But since this is my work wifey, I am royally pissed. She first forgot my birthday! IMAGINE that… Just imagine the nerve on this itty bitty thing… FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!!! And now she won’t even reply to my messages. I know she is alive cause she is busy posting ridiculously random updates on social media like her life depended on it. And I also realise that the new love on her horizon is probably making her dizzy and mental at the same time, but it is no excuse to forsake her first love!!!
[Some senti for Crap’s sake] Also, you all know how I have almost no “Girl”friends… There are only few girls that I have let myself get friendly with (along with an underlying foundation of hate, jealousy and sarcasm). So it really HURTS that NR would forget me after I gave her a cute teddy !!! It is also disappointing and frightfully morbid that she has kicked me out of her life after I so bravely let myself become her Phraand!!!! SNIFF SNIFF!!!
Dear NR, if you have any heart left (after giving it all away to would-be-Mr-NR), you will weep and buy me loads of books and teddy bears to make up for your cruelty towards me.
Dear would-be-Mr-NR, I already hate you for taking my work wifey away from me!!! In case you feel obliged to be in my good books again… buy me LOADS of books.
Oh… and this public harassment is because I am me and NR is NR!!! Love you B*aaatch!!!!