Being a first time mom is a precious feeling. Actually being a mom alone is priceless but the first time definitely counts a teeny weeny bit more than the next. However, in the interest of Pickle’s well being and my sanity… I would like to officially publish a few guidelines to people out there. These are just a few of the ones I have had time to pen down, but there are a million more… since I will not be able to mention all of them, Accept and follow guideline no. 1 when in doubt.
1. I am Pickle’s mom. That inherently, implicitly, explicitly and universally implies that what I say with regards to him is the final word. “Mom knows best” in this case isn’t just a misplaced mantra… it is THE rule of the universe.
In short, where Pickle is concerned, whatever I say is correct. Period.
2. Just ours. Ok … so when T and decided to have a baby, it wasn’t so that we could propagate the species or the family name or to adhere to any societal norm… we decided to procreate cause we wanted a little bundle of joy in our lives to shower all our love onto. So, in case anyone out there claims to have been waiting for Pickle more impatiently and eagerly than the two of us…they can go and DIE!!!
3. Not a toy! I really don’t understand when random people express the intent to “Play” with Pickle. You can spend some time with him and probably cuddle him with my permission… but thats about it. Hoping that I would feed him, burp him and change him only to hand him over to you so that you can “play” with him while I do the household chores makes you a complete nut case… NEVER gonna happen. I did not decide to dedicate my life, time and energy to my baby so that YOU can “play” with him!!!
4. Not a Prop. The next person who requests for a picture while holding my baby is going to get a stink eye from my side… I did not go through nine months of pregnancy and the last 6 months of taking care of my baby just so that YOU can have a “cute” Profile picture…. GROW UP!!!.. Need a “cute” pic? go to the animal pound and get a picture taken with a puppy!!!
5. Not your business. I do not remember asking any of you people anything about your life…. so when exactly did it become fashionable to pry into mine? Or more specifically Pickle’s life? I DO NOT wish to tell you what his weight is, or what colour his poop is… or even how many times he wakes up at night. To worry about these things and take care of it, T and I are present and all alert. Keep your long nose out of our business or it shall be unceremoniously shoved into places you do not want to know about.
Everything else pretty much can be categorized into one of the 5 aforementioned points.
Yes I am a first time mom
and yes I may not always be right about everything…
but the fact of the matter remains that I am Pickle’s mom and good-bad-ugly… He’s got me to do his bidding till he is 18 and can overrule my words!!!
What is frustrating is the fact that random people make it their business to gossip about me and my parenting style especially when I am actually doing a good job of it. If I was doing a bad job, I wouldn’t have bothered the bitching behind my back…
Anywho, this is all the ranting I am going to indulge in for today… you guys take care and keep tuning in for more of my utter bitchiness.