Moms : A Species

Question : Are all moms irritating and totally illogical?

Answer : Yes. If they are not, they are probably not as fantastic as they are supposed to be!!!

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My mom drives me nuts!!! And THAT is like the understatement of the century. While I was growing up, influenced by all the Linda Goodmans I could lay my hand on, I had attributed this conflict between the two of us as just something decided by our star signs. Leos and Scorpios never ever gel together. But over the years I have come to realize that it is not in the stars but in the whole fact that I am her daughter and she my mom!!! I remember our shouting matches which would eventually end with her stating the obvious that she was my mom and therefore had the last say in the matter. I usually reacted equally gracefully by banging my door in her face. In case the impact wasn’t loud enough, I would open it again and slam it all over again no matter how many times I would have had to repeat it and no matter how many of my wall frames would slide down to the floor with the impact!

When the time came for college admissions, I opted the one which was the farthest with the bleak hope that mom wouldn’t relocate with me and I would have all the freedom in the world to do “What I Wanted” . Of course little did I know that mom’s nagging and irritating suggestions would get amplified over long distance. Since my mom hates writing letters, I figured the calls would be once in a month or so and I could always mumble something and end it. However, stupid mankind had to go and invent silly mobiles. So now my mom had a personal assistant at her beck and call, who she would use to not just irritate me but also keep tabs on me. The phone did help me maintain one stand in life… I could still cut the call and end an argument in the middle of her statement… exactly like my door banging days… over long distance!!! How awesome!

Also, moms have this uncanny ability to know exactly when you are sick. Of course these were the only times when I welcomed her calls cause she is pretty much the only one who has the ability to reprimand and pamper you in the same sentence. However, my irritation would promptly return with my good health.

She is also a pandora’s box of all kinds of weird superstitious belief. And in my present state, her weird beliefs have pretty much won the war over all kinds of sensibility. She will not let me wear new clothes now… when I actually need new clothes cause I cannot fit into the older ones anymore. I have to listen to the Hanuman chalisa and ramayan but cannot visit the temple. My poor dad had to come all the way to my place to give my food cause I wasn’t supposed to carry fish at night!!! I still have to “sit” and wait for exactly 2 minutes if someone sneezes. With her its all about astrology or numerology… she would drive me crazy by calling up each morning with my lucky number and colour for the day!!! duh!!! She wouldn’t let me wear black for almost a year… six months before and six after my marriage.

And now I am not allowed ( IMAGINE!!!) to watch greys anatomy or dexter cause of the gore involved. Reasoning that I’m teaching pickle medicine doesn’t work with her. Every time I step out for watching a movie, she demands a whole synopsis to figure out whether or not I should watch it. She has even started censoring my books and music!!!

She has had opinions about everything in my life… and at times has forced them on me. I rebelled as any kid would, I complained to dad, who I thought was my co-conspirator against mom, I even threatened her with the dire consequences of running away with some random guy. And she very calmly grounded me for the rest of my life.

I have simply come to accept the fact that moms are a completely different and mutant species who sole purpose of being on the planet is to make their kids lives miserable!!! They have the seventh and eighth sense of being omnipresent and sensing every lie you even think of delivering!!! They can keep tabs on every breath you take and will be more than happy to ruin your experiences!!! But they are also the most forgiving creatures of all. For all the times I have shouted at her, berated her stupid ways or slammed the door in her face… she has always been there with a smile for me …

Looking back, I now see that I am literally her carbon copy. I take pride and pleasure in waking up at unearthly hours just so that I can cook lunch for hubby. I would go to any lengths to satisfy various demands of my work and personal life… even at the cost of ruining my health. I also have a knack for creativity and home decor. When I started cooking, I realized that most of the recipes came to me naturally… it is probably cause of all the times I stood in the kitchen arguing with her, while she calmly went on with her cooking. Even now I end up calling her with every little question I have about the house or kitchen.

As I now stand at the threshold of becoming a mom myself, I really wonder about the kind of mom I would turn out to be. Will I be a tiger mom, the helicopter parent… or the type who believes in being a “friend” to her kids?

All I pray is that I am as good as my own mom. If my child threatens to run away and slams the door in my face… I will know for sure that I am doing it right!!!

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On that note… I still hate you mom for making me eat gross veggies and making me chant ridiculous prayers!!!! :/

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3 thoughts on “Moms : A Species

  1. Your mom seems as nice as you are.

    Like

  2. Sinetheta says:

    I know… 😛

    Like

  3. Jess says:

    It’s all moms, we will be that way one day too 😐 lol

    Like

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