To quote Justin Rao, I love Rakhi 🙂
Every school, college or locality has these girls who pretty much rule the day on rakhi… and these are the ones the boys run away from. Now there are three reasons why they run away :
- They are the beautiful ones who the boys hope to pataofy at some hypothetical time in their lives and do not want to mar their ridiculously imaginary “chance” by allowing them to become siblings!!!
- They are those totally annoying ones who, after becoming a Rakhi sister, would bully them into buying more gifts that a girlfriend, would emotionally blackmail them till death and simply irritate the life out of them.
- They are normal, but might influence the 1st and the 2nd types to tie rakhis to unsuspecting guys.
Well, I proudly belong to the 2nd category. All my siblings and the rakhi brothers that I have managed to “collect” over the 29 years of my existence will willingly vouch for this fact. The ones that I have lost touch with or haven’t stayed connected to due to ridiculous fights will probably try to hide and pretend they are dead … but they will still happily vouch for it.
Why girls tie rakhi:
- They are repulsed by the guy and live in the constant fear that one of those repulsive creations of god just might propose them. By tying them a rakhi they are actually protecting themselves from the guy…
- They love the attention and all the pampering that they can get. Who better than brothers J
- They are the bharat mata types who believe in the Indian pledge that all Indians are my brothers and sisters and are on a campaign to convert it into a fact. Also, they have big dollar dreams so they wont be bothered with trying to marry any of these “Indians”
Again, I would love to believe that I belong to the 2nd considering I am too ugly to be propositioned by any random repulsive guy 😛 and cause I have no dollar dreams.
I have bullied my brothers to carry my bag, give me their most expensive possessions, to feed me an unlimited supply of chocolates of all varieties and bear my humiliating tantrums in public.
I know for a fact that even decades of therapy will not heal their tortured souls and that this year wont be any different when I hurl my choicest abuses at them along with emotionally laden threats over the long distance to get them to buy me something pretty…
So here’s wishing all my adorable brothers a beautiful Rakshabandhan and an amazing year ahead( well I am your sister… so that’s a given!!!).
You have borne all the repercussions of my tale tattling
You have been the bigger person in spite of being the younger one
You have always protected me when required
You have loved me through my rage filled tantrums
You have pampered me while I was busy abusing the hell out of you
You have listened to the thousand cribs I make each hour
You have lent me 100s of your pristine handkerchiefs to wipe away my tears
You have spent all your pocket money for my munches, lays and pencil boxes
You have happily given me your presents so that I could break them
You have never questioned when I have asked you to go and bully people around
You have tolerated my pinches and punches with a smile
You have never held a grudge for the million times I tortured you
You have always come back to me and continued loving me even when I stopped talking to you
You have also managed to always… always irritate me till I burst out crying
You have kept me safe… and happy since I have known you
I know I will continue to irritate and bully you for the years to come. However, on this special day, here’s a big hug to you. Just cause you have been around in spite of knowing me so well.
Love you bhai…
Disclaimer : I might be under a lot of hormonal changes at this time and hence this post shouldn’t be considered to be norm by any chance.
I will definitely return to being my bitchy self with starting immediately. Beware… I will bite!!!
Also, please send your gifts soon… I don’t really have my entire life to wait for it I wrote nice things about you… now you send me stuff 🙂