Yes… dear reader, you are absolutely correct, this is going to be yet another run down the “me” lane where I would constantly imply at my total awesomeness and hate everyone who doesn’t accept it ( I don’t care if you agree or believe… but you just gotta bow down and accept it like any other fact of this universe).
For Starters : Here’s my “rant” for the day!!!
All you nincompoops who forgot about my birthday just cause you were miserable or overjoyed about your own lives… I hate you… officially! Just cause your life is awesome… or cause it totally is depressing and suicidal, doesn’t mean that you can dare to forget about ME!!! I am after all the best thing to ever happen to you. So just cause you made the catastrophic mistake of forgetting my birthday… slap yourself hard and bang your head repeatedly on the wall in front of everyone… and then send me a nice BIG gift to make up for the unholy sin that you have managed to commit.
My day :
This year I did not send out my typical narcissistic reminders to everyone about my birthday… NO I haven’t grown up or sprouted wings and a halo, I was just being a total conniving bitch!!! Without the reminders I was sure that the number of people who would forget my birthday would increase drastically… which is obviously directly proportional to the number of gifts I would eventually receive.
Anywho, hubby was supposed to be away and that kinda made me ultra depressed… It of course didnt stop me from singing in the shower and claim to be sooper awesome .. but I was definitely depressed… actually pissed off would be the more correct emotion I was feeling. However, due to some divine intervention, he managed to come back home on the morning of my birthday and surprise me. ( Dear tank, just cause you weren’t there to wish me “in person” at mid night, you would now need to buy me more stuff to make me believe that you truly wanted to be there but couldn’t because of your silly work).
Sunday is definitely not a good day for birthdays… and pickle certainly didn’t make things any easier… I still managed to bully everyone into giving me all the attention I truly deserve. Lunch was a quiet affair at our favorite restaurant… followed by frolicking in malls looking for gifts that I could wheedle out of my beloved hubby. But Vizag, as promised, was boring, bare and stupid. I still picked up a ridiculously expensive dress that I will not be able to wear for at least the next two years… It would probably be used as a prop to inspire me to lose weight. Dinner was mom’s special chicken curry… yummmm.. The only regret is that by 6 I was so exhausted that I wasn’t able to spend much time with parents.
I also gifted myself a brand new apple touch! Now initially I was all brave about it and declared that I didnt want to wait for others to gift me… I could gift something nice to myself… But then hubby and bro both forgot to buy me something and offered to pay for it instead… although a lousy replacement for their gifts… (which would have been diamonds ;)), it is a financially benefiting one … heheheh. Of course I haven’t decided who would get the honour of paying for it.
People who have absolutely no relation to me except for the fact that I probably look at them or know their name should not be so shameless about demanding a party from me. First of all, people should be treating me to awesome stuff considering I was born on this planet… I mean imagine… this much of true awesomeness… !!!
Secondly, if you are a true friend, I would be anyway treating you, whether or not you want to be treated( but seriously??? who wouldn’t want it!!!).
So dear unknown faceless moron, shut your pie hole, cause I am not going to treat every random person on this planet just cause I am awesome…
On a farewell note… dear forgetful weirdoes… God has given you smartphones ( ohhhh kkk maybe your boy friends bought it for you) … SAVE my freaking birthday… and Do not speak to me till you buy me something pretty!!!
Work wifey… you are dead to me!!! I was about to look for a husband for you… but now… I disown you !!! Hmmmppphhh:/
Anywho… Happy wala budday to me 🙂
PS: It is NOT today… so DO NOT call me like a dodo and wish me !!!
PS 2 : I shall not be receiving any stupid sorry calls unless they are preceded by a message containing the details of the awesome gift you are getting me
PS 3 : I know I use the word awesome too much ( and Tata Nano seems to be inspired with it too), but I am never gonna stop… so go kick rocks!!!