With another few months to go before the arrival of our little guest, I have been swamped with unsolicited advice and ridiculous comments. Off late I have managed to also run into the dark side of the baby camp who give loads of “practical” advice about how life would change. However, everything they say ends up implicating them as the most selfish parents I have ever known. As one wise old momma of two brat, in an earnest desire to enlighten me, said… Try and enjoy as much as you can in the next few months… the baby will be The-End of my “life”. So here’s a list of the “ends” people keep talking about.
1. The end of my non existant social life
” Imagine no more ladies night outs and no more dance parties. You will never be able to even go out to a restaurant and enjoy a meal!!!”
I am not a very social person. I enjoy dancing and the occasional dinner with friends but ask me to go on drinking binges and you will termed as “deceased” in my social calendar. Again, not that I am an anti social human… but I prefer quiet gatherings with people with whom I can have intelligent conversations and can have a relaxing time OR a dance party where no one will bother to talk to me and I can dance my head off :). Also, though we both love dining out, I will more than happy to lug around pickle and introduce everything to the cutie pie. Of course, its not like immediately after the birth I would want to visit the pubs… And also, a baby doesn’t mean I am going to be home bound my whole life… duh!!! wont the baby grow up some day? And a few years… ok fine.. even 5 or 7 years of no restaurant food is not going to kill me!!!
2. The end of Over-hyped “alone time” with spouse
“Spend longs weekends with your hubby as much as you can cause once the baby comes you will hardly talk to him!!!”
So does this mean we will never see each other or like we will lose the ability to talk? Or will I vanish with the baby and never see my hubby again. I know I will get busy and will have more responsibilities… like maybe I will not always have to time to cook his favorite meal or be stress-free enough to listen to his hopes and dreams… but does that mean I will be able to be with him? seriously?
I swear… ms advice giver you need to get a life… and a new husband!!!
3. The end of my imaginary light travels
“Lucky for you guys… when I travel, I end up carrying three extra bags just for the baby”
Seriously??? have you ever seen me travel? I travel with like 800 million baggage pieces. I am what you might call a contingency-packer. I pack for every hypothetical, imaginary and un probable scenario. So I end up packing up half my house even if I am only going to the beach for a day of fun!!!
So trust me… I will be overjoyed about the baby’s luggage cause I can also mark half of mine as the baby’s!!!
4. The end of “unplanned” holidays
“We didn’t take a holiday after she was born… it is so difficult with her schedule and habits…”
Dude!!! it is a B-A-B-Y!!! What habits and what schedule. Not that I am hugely into holidays or unplanned travels… but I am sure making small adjustments on the trip can help you accommodate a baby easily. Like maybe a baby friendly hotel… or no flights… or 2 extra stops on the way… Come on… if you tell me travel is difficult with pets, I will totally agree… but with a child!!! really???
5. The end of my apparently “clean” house
“You have really decorated your house well… once the baby comes… it will all have to go”
Arre!!! it is a baby… a sweet little child… ok maybe even a brat who loves to break or pull things apart. Either ways, it is never a reason to pack my house up and remove all the delicate decorations… I would rather discipline my child than take my beautiful house apart. And its not as if the baby will soil my carpet and sofas on its whim… or magically appear on them!!! duh!!!
6. The end of my hypothetical need to have a career
“You are still working ? well enjoy… cause this is like the end of your career!!!”
Yeah right!!! cause I will be feeding and taking care of my baby till my baby has babies!!! ridiculous. With such times when even after 5 years of maternity break women go on to have successful careers, how dumb do you have to be to actually make a comment like this. And to be honest, I was never that career minded to sit and cry now!. Of course, the “job” provided a way to kill time and gave me financial freedom to buy as many books as I wished. But thats it. And yes, I will miss it, but I am sure I rather miss the job than regret not spending time with my angel.
7. The end of “meaningful” “adult” conversations
” Lately we don’t find anything to talk about. We are either talking to our kids or talking to each other about the kids”
How dull is your life? Ok I understand when you are stuck at home, you probably don’t have much happening. But you can watch TV or read a book ( I know you will not have THAT much of time… but still) and moreover your husband is still working and socialising… I am sure he can fuel the conversations… There is family, budgets and even food to talk about…
I really pity the people who actively blame their kids for the absence of their conversations!!!
8. The end of our absent splurging of money on ridiculous “wants”
” Wow… nice you can still buy all these expensive things… for us, the budget is quite narrow considering the kid”
We like a DSLR camera and a big car… so sue us. Thats hardly splurging. Maybe buying an xbox is… and we are still gonna do it. We might have to skip the outings a bit and scrounge a little… but we are not going to blame the kid for our incompetency of managing budgets. And it is not selfish if I want to buy a high end cell or a magical toothbrush after the baby has arrived. It is important to make the baby an important part of our lives… but letting our lives revolve around it is just bad management.
9. The end of so-called “stain free” clothes
” I never have anything to wear. everything has stains of my baby’s spit ups”
Hehehe… Have you seen me eat? I am like the most clumsy eater and it is almost a ritual for me to drop stuff on my dress while eating. So I more worried about staining the baby’s clothes while feeding it!!!
10. The end of the mythical “me time”
” I am always with the baby… I don’t even have time to brush my hair”
I find this the most ridiculous excuse for laziness and bad time management. When you worked, didnt you juggle work, parties, friends, drinking and home at the same time. So why are you so harrassed with just home and baby now!!!
Like seriously people!!!
Anywho… I am in that amazing place called mommy-to-be-blissville, so I am pretty unfazed by this ridiculous comments. Also, I have managed to perfect the art of nodding vigorously and appearing to be immensely interested in what you say.
So if you end up giving me ridiculous and unsolicited advice, you might see me nodding my head in a dreamy manner and saying yes to everything… take a hint and go kick rocks!!!