Driving Hazards…

I hate driving. Love drives… but can’t stand driving. I have a soul of a dog 🙂 loyal, possessive, protective and damn ferocious if threatened. And when it comes to drives… I’m the doggiest doggie you can ever find. After a lot of trial and errors… my husband has figured out the perfect way to keep me happy. Take me on a drive. My head out of the window with my tongue rolled out is total bliss for me. As long as I can sleep in the car with absolutely no worries about the drive, I’m happy. Ask me to check if there’s a vehicle behind or if the car can turn safely and I’ll turn into the most crabby doggie… errr person on earth. Ruffle my hair a few times to let me know I still have your attention and you’ve won the best person award in my books !!!

I can’t help detesting the driver’s seat and job! It’s like this…some people are born drivers. They have immaculate hand eye coordination and their rhythm is in total sync with the vehicle they are driving. Their presence of mind is lighting sharp and they are most comfortable even when they are driving on an inch wide road with a bus hurling towards them. Ok… maybe not that dangerous…but you get the point right?

And then there are amazing personalities like moi!!! People who need to memorize the sequence for starting a car… who will panic if they miss a step and completely zonk out while trying to remember the next sequence of steps. I’m serious… I need a cheat sheet when I drive. When I pass that particular pole, brake and when the tree passes by, clutch-brake-release brake-shift into 2nd gear-release clutch on the second speed bump-accelerate on the 3rd speed bump. And try talking to me while I’m doing this… either I’ll smack you on your face and continue nonchalantly… or the car will stall and I’ll burst out crying “OH LORD!!! I am not made for driving… I hate cars… I will kill others and myself if I’m allowed to drive!!!! Sniff sniff sniff!!!”

Initially my hubby would try to console me and appreciate me, but he soon learnt that I get vindictive when he does that. Cause I know my performance behind the wheel is less than mediocre and I hate that. I don’t do something till I know I’m awesome at it… or atleast average. But when the car swerves every time I change gears because my right hand won’t quit mimicking my left…. I know it’s a lost cause. But I’m not to blame completely… atleast not for the “xylo”. It is like a huge truck. When I’m behind the wheel, my ass is literally 5 inches above the seat cause I’m trying to figure out whether I am driving in the lane or not. And I know for sure that no one can really even see me from the outside. They probably end up wondering about a white xylo driving on its own.

I even tried out a smaller car and though I was good at driving it on empty roads. I totally freak out when I see traffic. Day traffic is still fine… but at night I feel as if every oncoming car is going to hit me and every car/bike in front will suddenly stop on a whim and I’ll crash into them. I have had nightmares about driving off the cliff cause I didn’t remember whether I had to brake with the clutch or without it… and also about hitting pedestrians cause I can never figure out whether the car will touch them or not.

Although I have always proven to be an excellent multitasker in life (I can actually read a book, knit and watch a sitcom at the very same time), I figured out that talking or listening to music while trying to drive makes me a weirdo. My big hand gestures translate into jerky wheel movements and the same makes me pukish cause I have motion sickness!!! Imagine!!!

And then there’s the thing where I tend to space out. I will be looking at the rearview mirror to check traffic behind and would complete forget about the one in front. And while trying to make sure I don’t hit a car, I might suddenly find myself veering dangerously close to the pedestrians.

Anywho… I tried for about two weeks. The stress gave me acid reflux, the nightmares gave me dark circles and the constant peeping over the steering wheel to check the width of the road gave me a sever muscle cramp. My husband finally realized and agreed that I wasn’t meant for driving a car. I was meant to adorn the passenger seat and acquire a diploma in back/side seat driving!!!

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One thought on “Driving Hazards…

  1. Justin Rao says:

    Ahahahahaha!
    Dad and I tried real hard to teach mom how to drive a car. And she was exactly like you behind the wheels! Without a Xylo. She bumped the car once, broke the headlight and never tried again!

    And you must teach us how to multitask that amazingly! Knitting- Reading-Watching! Whoa!

    Like

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