Throw me on a stage, point the spotlight on me and I will blow your mind away. I will laugh I will cry and I will sigh like there’s no tomorrow. I will be the mother whose wails will break your heart. I will be the voice of injustice which will put a shiver up your spine. I will also be the one to trip and fall and make you ROFL. I will be it all and I will be nothing. I will make you believe me and live my life with me… I will be your worst nightmare and your loveliest dream come true… just put me on a stage and point the spotlight at me.
But tell me to pretend and I shall falter in my step. Tell me to keep a straight face while lying and I will balk at the thought. Ask me to smile at the one I hate and I will choke on my bile. Try making me pretend to be sweet to an imbecile and I will want to kill myself…
I can act. I know I’m bragging but when there are some things in life you are truly proud of, not vain, you know it and talking about it doesn’t qualify as boasting. So I know it pretty well that I can act. But I just cant pretend. I will not pretend to be caring when I don’t even like a person, I will not pretend to be concerned when I truly don’t give a rat’s a$$ about a person and I will definitely not pretend to be all nice and gooey towards someone, when all I really wanna do is slam that someone onto the wall and watch with pleasure as them whimper.
Pretensions are a way of life these days. More so at your work place where you need to pretend to like your bosses cause they have the power to fire your sorry unpretentious a$$. You pretend to be “collaborative” with your colleague cause you want to be left in peace. You pretend to be everyone’s friend… pretend to like everyone… pretend to like office politics… cause office politics can be a bitch. Especially if you don’t take part in it, cause you believe its insane and against your principle (or maybe cause you’re just not capable of playing politics). You would think if you are indifferent towards it you will escape its wrath. But people will eventually mistake your indifference as your weakness and turn against you for no reason or rhyme. They will turn against you cause you are the only one in the room who’s not participating and they don’t like it. You’d be unceremoniously dragged through mud and dunked in humiliation. You’d be pestered and irritated till you give up. Give up being indifferent and take up arms or give up being you and leave the room.
So today’s mantra for me: Stop Pretending and Act.
Imagine you’re on this stage of an office. And you have the part of the best ( read: diplomatic, conniving and scheming) employee. Now stop pretending and ACT! Act as if you are friends with everyone. Act as if you are collaborating with your colleague. Act as if you are in total agreement with all the crazy psycho ego maniacal plans your colleagues hatch… act…. Till the curtain drops at six.
And then be ready for an encore every weekday of your life!!!