The HR at my office today distributed black ribbons for us to wear as a sign of solidarity with the delhi rape victim. And I knew I couldn’t keep quiet about it any longer. I have tried to keep my mind’s peace and my mouth shut for a long time cause of many reasons but this act of hollow pretence has irked me enough to come out of my comfort zone and talk about it.

I have read every bit of news that has ever been released on this case, I have felt as disgusted as I could about the heinous details of the crime, I have shed as many tears I could for the shattered dreams of the girl, her lost future and her grieving family. But as I started surfing the net I found that this case wasn’t even indicative of the situation that exists beyond the four walls of our own space. And in the midst of all this I have gone numb. I still do feel sorry… and I still feel disgusted but I end up asking myself… what now? Will the laws finally change? In fact it is not even about the laws anymore… it has been and will always be about the cultural mentality of this country. Will we be able to provide solace to the family by cancelling our parties? Or will the mentality of our society change overnight just cause I now have a black ribbon pinned on me? Or will my gender finally find an equal footing since I have updated my FB profile pic to symbolize my silent protest?

Let me clarify that these measures are brilliant, and I feel proud that my generation is actually concerned over this matter. But I again find myself asking a silly question… what about the others? What about the young girl who was kidnapped and sold to a brothel… the young bride who was beaten mercilessly, the women who are being raped by their husbands, the young girls who were bashed up publicly for being in a pub, the women whose characters’ were doubted for just dressing up in party wear… why didn’t we take up arms when all these things happened… are happening…??? This incident is definitely of epic proportions… but so were the others… I somehow feel fighting on this one issue alone is like trivializing all the other brutal crimes against women which happen every single day around our country.  This incident has just been an eye opener… but so much work is still left… even while the country was in the grips of this mishap… girls were getting raped… wives were getting beaten … in general our gender was still being biased against!

What will a single law do? There are laws against dowry… against female infanticide… did those do any good to us? What needs to be changed are attitudes… mentality… the entire ideology our society’s based on. The way boys and girls and brought up. the way they are educated… the way they are treated at work and the way they are treated in a marriage. All this WILL NOT change with a single law… it WILL NOT change overnight… but there’s always a starting point… and hopefully somebody does something about THAT rather than coming up with black badges and dots.

I will change my FB status… I will pin the black badge … and I will look defiantly into the eyes of every guys who speaks to my breasts instead of me… but will somebody tell me that all this will lead to a safer world? A safer time when I can wish for a girl child knowing she would be embraced and not shunned for being independent? A society which will stop burdening us with every guilt of this world? A community which will finally let us breathe and live as a human being rather than a commodity?

As we drown in our helplessness and look around for a easy fix for our inability to contribute anything to this movement… we quietly pin the badge and straighten the halo on our heads… put on a sad face and utter abuses… come up with brilliant castrations plans for the rapists… give suggestions for way forward and then in a week’s time when the latest movie gets released, shift our attention to that. Did any of us ever try to find out what happened to those girls who were bashed in mangalore? Or offer a shoulder to the wife next door who gets beaten every day?

Maybe it’s time for our gender to finally take a stand. Forget laws… and protests… fight when you can…. In every way you can. Fight for your rights… be brave cause there is nobody who would fight for yourself.. Be safe cause despite a 100 laws… men will be men. Be you!!! Cause you’re wonderful the way you are!

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