Heart rules!!!

As I put my pen to paper … and scribble around till I find the right words, my mind gushes with all that it has to say… but my heart’s empty… and for some weird reason … my heart seems to be the boss today! My mind has so many stories… so many experiences… and so many anecdotes in store… I can hear it in the background.. screaming its lungs out… begging me to write about so many things around me… my first experience as the masters of ceremonies… my beautiful Sunday lunch… the presence of my husband beside… but my heart’s moody today… it has been having poetic conversations with itself… and somehow instead of guiding my hand.. it drifts into some melancholy thoughts… thoughts which bring about a sharp pain… but also a smile… thoughts which probably do not mean as much to the daily happenings in my life… but are an integral part of who I am… who I want to be. So here goes…. My conversations… with myself…

I look forward to life… and not in way of every day is succeeded by another… but more like… living life everyday… everyday is filled with routines… how I get up exactly at the same time… how I finish cooking at exactly a particular time… the time for my morning walk… followed by my stretches… and then how I get ready just in time to leave… but there’re so many changes to this very routine… yesterday the sky was a bright orange… the day before… a trail was visible on it.. marked with bright red as if a meteor had just found its way home… and today… the moon stayed back to wish me a beautiful morning. A few days back I saw a lonely stray dog scampering about… and yesterday a pet literally flew out at me… scaring the living daylights out of me… some days there’s a chill in the breeze, one that makes my nose bleed… and other days there’s a weird stuffiness I feel even out in the open… my tea a few days back was too sweet…. Today… it was just perfect … I forgot my watch yesterday… like I forgot my water bottle the day before…. Everything is set in a routine… everything is so different from what it was….

I am happy… that’s not an exaggeration… not a lie and definitely not a consolation to where I am today. I feel happy in the very core of my being…. By the time you reach the outermost layer to my existence, you might find streaks of sorrow and discontent… but I wear it indifferently… cause I know… I am happy within. I have a crappy job… one that I never thought I would take…. But my boss rocks!!! I live in this total godforsaken place which half the people haven’t even heard about…. But my house boasts of a view that everyone’s jealous of… while they count minutes in the cramped apartments… I enjoy the sea breeze every morning… My marriage is probably the best thing to have happened to me… ever… of course I miss my single days… days when I could buy everything and be bankrupt by the month end… and not worry at all. Days when Saturdays meant dance movie and dinner…. Not spring cleaning of the house… days when I could eat ice cream for dinner and not bother… but somehow… my better half seems to make marriage seem like an endless adventure… every day we learn something new…. Everyday we invent something new… a nickname… a short form… a weird way of calling … every days… amidst our busy lives and routines… we find peace… peace in the presence of the other.. peace in the fact that we have each other…

My heart’s throwing a hissy fit today… demanding to be heard… wanting to let everyone know… I’m happy!

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2 thoughts on “Heart rules!!!

  1. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    oh…. that is so sweet… Will post a little more often now that I have a help at home… glad you liked the place… imagine living there!!! total bliss… give me a shout out next time you are around 🙂 take care… keep in touch.

    Like

  2. Rohini says:

    Hey Sayantika 🙂
    Love reading your posts! There are times when I open your blog twice a day just to check if you have written something new.
    Was on Dolphin Nose NOI yesterday with my Uncle and Aunt . Was visiting Vizag for a day. Remembered the pretty view you had posted from your house of the endless and serene ocean.
    Keep blogging . Some souls really enjoy it 🙂

    Like

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