I will not be nice…

I am not going to be funny or clever right now cause I am really depressed. It’s not the people who depress me, its their double standards in life. It’s the way simple and easy things are made complicated for no good reason at all… I am not going to be nice to people cause nobody really returns the favor ever. They are mean and selfish and don’t mind hurting others for their own comfort.

I am not going to be all nice and happy cause I have found out I can trust no one. In today’s time it doesn’t take more than a fraction of a second to turn one’s back on others. You either get pummeled by people or take a shot at it yourself. I am not going to trust people cause that path leads to nothing but a dead end.

I am not going to worry myself to death with problems others face cause they won’t do it for me either. When I fall, I need to learn how to get back up on my own cause everybody else will be too busy trampling me further down. I thought it was a good quality to have empathy, to fight for the ones who are too scared or shy to do much… but I have been proven wrong time and again. If they are not fighting, it only means that they don’t deserve a fight…

I am not going to be sincere and adhere to rules cause it really doesn’t matter. At the end of the day you would be put in the “General” bracket with everyone else. Rules will be made to keep the stray ones in and it will end up bothering you the most… you will be treated and considered as one of the many faces in the crowd no matter how differently you behave.

I wish this mistrust would vanish, I wish this callous feeling that is creeping into my heart finds a quick exit, I wish this heavy heart and the silent gaze returns to the darker side so that I feel normal… but things do not happen my way…

I am pushed to behave this way… I am forced to become one of them… callous, non-caring, selfish… I do not like it… but I would rather be selfish than be beaten down due to my selflessness.

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4 thoughts on “I will not be nice…

  1. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    true… and in the long run it hardly bothers me.. but being the sooper reactive person that i am… i tend to lash out … 🙂

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  2. I should hope not..
    People’s attitudes are but pawns in a chess game; there are a lot of them but they can affect you only as much as you let them. 🙂

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  3. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    I know… I will never be able to be all that bad and sulky… its just that people’s attitudes are really disturbing and depressing at times… 🙂 thanks 🙂

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  4. I wouldn’t say that “not all people are bad etc etc” and how you should trust a few but things become simpler when you stop expecting anything in return for what you do. Being the person you are, you can’t stop caring and become one of “the others” so just keep doing what you do as long as it makes you happy to think you did something good today.

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