Heroine : A Review

Here’s my formal apology to all my readers who were miffed, offended or totally pissed off by my review on the movie Cocktail. I would hereby like to retract my opinion that it was the worst movie I ever saw. In my defense, I hadn’t seen “Heroine” till then. At least Cocktail had great songs, tolerable humour and a very orthodox/outdated/idiotic story line… but story line nonetheless. I wish I could say anything good about “Heroine”… but I sincerely cannot.

I am not a huge fan of Madhur Bhandarkar movies, but I thought page 3 was terrific, I managed to stay awake through fashion (that’s a compliment to the movie) and found traffic signal a very well directed movie…  so I managed to convince my hubby to book us a first day first show ticket for “heroine” (trust me I have a lifetime supply of  “I-told-you-so” from my hubby now). To say that it was a mistake would be lame, it was nothing but a total disaster. Ten minutes into the movie and already Kareena’s absolutely non-existent acting skills were becoming intolerable by the minute. The next ten minutes we fidgeted around and decided that the hot snacks and the caramel popcorn were worth sitting through the excruciating movie… plus we really didn’t have to be anywhere so we could kill time by cracking obscene jokes and hogging food!

A movie is usually bad in certain aspects. Sometimes the storyline is something very clichéd, at other times the acting of the actors is pathetic. Some movies don’t appeal to us cause either their overdramatic stance of life or if they are too artsy fartsy (though I personally love art cinema). With this movie, I tried real hard to find one good thing… trust me, as I sat through those hours… I decided to look for one tiny speck of something that would make the time spent a little worthwhile. Sadly I couldn’t find anything. The story is… well honestly there’s no story. There was absolutely no point in the whole movie. It was more of a mash up between page 3 and fashion. We know Media over-hypes every news, we know the whole thing about casting couches and trust me we also know that gay people exist. Not just in the “filmy” worlds but in the real world too. And as much as the whole thing probably scandalized us during “Page 3”, its old news now…

The acting was, to put it mildly, utterly revolting. Lets talk about the supporting cast first. The gays were too obvious and trying to put some sense of humor in the movie which was insulting to the sect and in very very poor taste… and not even funny for that matter. Then there were the “rival” heroines, who were plain bad. The way they put on airs and hopped around… was plain pathetic, made up and in fact ri-don-culous!!!. The love interests were again a terrible act. Arjun Rampal was still good considering he did play his role quite convincingly. Randeep was… I don’t really know what he was trying to do. He was a clingy, needy, narcissistic and idiotic character… a kind of boyfriend none of us girls would really like at all. He did try to play the role… but again… who is that clingy!!! Divya dutta was good. She in fact was one of the strong points in the movie, but sadly her role was too short. Shahana and Ranvir did an absolutely awesome job even in this crappy movie. Helen’s role was clichéd and not needed at all. The rest were either small time or washed out actors who did no justice to their roles or the movie.

Finally commenting on the Heroine of “Heroine”, I find myself struggling. I love bitching and would have loved to criticize her, but I have seen her shine in “Jab we met” and somehow I feel that the story was too weak for her to do anything about it. I accept she was not that good, but she did try her best to portray a Bipolar character. The story just did not give her a chance to prove anything. Just as she would get comfortable, the narrative changed and it was way too confusing for us as audience to really relate to her as a character. The songs were again not that great… yeah yeah I know she looks hot in the “Halkat Jawani” number… but you rather watch it on the tv free of cost than pay to watch it along with the movie.

Overall, I think the movie sucked big time and I happily wasted some precious hours of my life. There was absolutely no need for this movie to be made. It might have been good to see a “Normal” person in the role (I mean, not every Heroine is bipolar you know!!!). But that would probably make it more like Fashion’s story. Whatever reasons this movie got made for, it was absolutely a disaster in my book. I did expect a lot out of Madhur… anywho… in case you are planning to see it, I would suggest you download a copy and watch it unless you LOUVEEE Kareena and/or love totally gross acting (which we kinda get enough of on the smaller screen).

So long…

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9 thoughts on “Heroine : A Review

  1. Teju says:

    thanks, i need it! 😀
    see you soon…

    Like

  2. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    hmmm.. the “I told you so” list… its fun when it is a part of our arsenal but not so much to be in the receiving end hehehe… good luck 🙂

    Like

  3. Teju says:

    hahaaa! my pities to you & guess what, now my hubby too is equipped with a ‘i told you so’ list! 😦

    Like

  4. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    Glad to be of help… imagine my distress… had to sit and watch the whole thing on the very first day… ewwww
    and i agree with you… it was definitely the director’s vision that made her seem good onscreen

    Like

  5. Teju says:

    true, ‘surprisingly’ is not to be missed in your line. maybe the credit should go to imtiaz in getting what he wanted out of her. But thanks for the review, i was planning on catching up with this movie…

    Like

  6. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    yup… I was quite sad actually… page 3 was great… thought he could do so much better with this topic… but it was blahhh

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  7. Justin says:

    Haven’t seen the movie but this review pretty much justifies everything I’ve read about it!
    Madhur B needs to change his movie making template. Big time!

    Like

  8. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    Agree about Kareena.. but she did do a surprisingly good job in “Jab we met”. but yeah this movie was a BIG pain…

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  9. Teju says:

    hahaa loved your review! I’m neither a fan of madhur’s nor his movies! Kareena has always been a pain!

    Like

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