A tired Soul…

I walk with my head down. I avoid looking at people. I look at their feet and determine my next step. This way I don’t have to look at their faces, this way I will not have to look at their souls through their eyes.
I walk with my eyes on the road instead. This way I don’t have to pretend I don’t see them, I literally do not SEE them. I don’t have to look around to avoid their gaze, I really wouldn’t see it.
I walk with my eyes bowed down, not with shame, not with guilt but with the sole purpose of remaining calm. I know when I catch them staring at me, when I find them eyeing me, when I find the lust and eagerness in their stares, I will get angry… I will find my heart throbbing harder with hatred. I know I will curse them. I walk this way to save myself from the stress of all this, I walk this way to stop myself from polluting my mind with thoughts of scratching their eyes out. I walk this way for not mine but their protection.
I walk with my head down to avoid confrontations. I hate looking up and finding myself objectified. I hate scowling at them to make sure they know how I feel… but nothing helps. They never look at my face anyway. They will never understand my pain. They will forever feel superior and look like they always do.
I walk with my soul trodden beneath my footsteps. I am tired. I don’t feel like I have given up yet but I definitely need a break. Having tried everything starting from abuses to screams… I need to think of a better way out. Or maybe there really isn’t any…
I walk with my mind concentrating on the road. i don’t look up at the world anymore. It has ceased to be the beautiful place I once knew. Did I change? Not really. I still wear what I wore, and I still do what I always did… but the world has somehow changed. Maybe its only this place, or maybe it is every single place everywhere…

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2 thoughts on “A tired Soul…

  1. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    Thanks 🙂

    Like

  2. Justin says:

    I am speechless on how subtly you’ve written this mam. The ire, the hope, the reason. Loved it.

    Like

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