I don’t know about the residents of other countries, but for us Indians some things remain the same whichever part of the country we visit. Now most of us must have seen these big bulky trucks hurling down tiny and narrow streets as if they were a hybrid of ambulances and F1 cars… they usually can’t see (most of them don’t really care enough to see), the people behind them. So everyone is expected to honk furiously and irritatingly if they are trying to overtake these trucks. The same point is usually conveyed through this very famous phrase “Horn OK Please”. It is pretty much painted behind every truck in the country in all kinds of font styles , colours and sizes.
Whether it is a request, a question or simply a rhetoric statement in life, nobody knows or cares. However we tend to have made this phrase the sole principle behind our driving on roads. It is almost as if all the traffic rules and regulations cease to exist in the presence of this universal law/truth that every driver in India blindly follows.
Now that I travel to and fro from office in an auto, I have realised that the drivers around seem to believe in some kind of a magical property of the horn. They believe with their heart and soul that blaring the horn without a rhyme or reason at any point of time just might lend them the ability to fly or teleport themselves. I mean what other reason would prompt a stupid driver to stand at a red light and furiously honk their pathetic excuse of a horn for the whole duration of the signal? I have never really seen my family members use the horn unless absolutely essential. We follow all traffic rules though from my side seat I do tend to make sure that I lower my glass and shower ample abuses on anyone who doesn’t follow the rules, but otherwise, we are a calm lot. Which is why the honking system irks us more. I mean have you ever wondered why the car in front is slow? Maybe they want to avoid a pothole… maybe there’s someone crossing… maybe they are nice people and want to follow at least some traffic rules… before you honk can’t you just take a moment and breathe? Its not as if you are in a tearing hurry and your being late might result in someone dying horribly!!!
Drivers today, specially the younger lot (yeah yeah I know… I am not that old). I watch young girls zipping around without helmets or any rules… and try even air bumping them, they will raise such a hue and cry that you would think you just killed them. They honk when they stand at a red light, they honk when they specifically cross a school or a hospital zone but god forbid if they ever honk when they wanna overtake or turn. I mean those are silly things right… following basic rules are so ridiculous. Why would you wanna waste a whole 3 seconds in honking while overtaking when you can be a total stud by suddenly overtaking and scaring the hell out of the guy in front. Honking when you wanna catch someone’s attention is soooo old school… honking to irritate them and simply hog attention is like the new norm on Indian roads. Also, never wear helmets so that when your heads are smashed in, people don’t have to go through the whole drama of removing the helmet and seeing you alive.. they will know for sure you’re dead. Never use the rear-view mirrors to keep a track of traffic… reverse them and use them to decorate your filthy bike… after all that the only shiny thing you put up on your bike. And who the hell invented indicators… such a waste of time and money… turn whenever… wherever… it is definitely upto others on the road to take care of their lives… why should you care.
So honk away to glory my friend… and when you finally do learn the art of teleportation, congratulate yourself on being the moron that you are…