Just a stare…

It is not like I haven’t been stared at before. Being stared at was probably the first thing that I got used to.  Maybe it is the lifelong PMS that I have recently invented (for all my foul mood swings) or maybe it is cause I suddenly have had enough or maybe it is due to the recent molestations and public hue and cry that was raised on several occasion…but I seem to have developed an almost physical hatred towards guys who stare at girls. After years of self control and understanding of the poor sap’s totally messed up mind, I had learnt to accept that only disturbed people tend to pass on lecherous glances and it is almost like a disease. So I used to ignore it and move on… even though their stare would grate against my skin and make a horrible noise in my head, like your nails on the blackboard, though all I wanted to do was turn around and slap the pervert… I had learnt to keep my cool… learnt to believe and pretend that no one was really staring at me and even if they were… who cares…

Off late I find this control slipping away… what is scary is not the ready stream of abuses that fly out of my mouth but the way I find myself almost lounging at the guy wanting to tear off his hair and pull his eyes out. I am not a violent person… barring the attempts to practice choke slams on my younger brother, and of course biting and scratching him (in an all feminine attempt to take revenge on him for using my pen), I have rarely displayed any such tendencies… pinching and playfully swatting one’s head is NOT violence. But these days, my blood literally boils. I stare back, abuse on face and say all kinds of nonsense to anybody staring…

One of my favourite professors mentioned a very important point in the ‘gender equality” forum. As all the feminists of my class were falling over each other trying to prove how oh-so-awesome we are… (of course I am a feminist, but I don’t shout it out… I prove it ;)), this professor very calmly replies, “all your arguments aside, I still hold a lot of power in this equation.” Before anyone could reply, he continued, pointing to a girl in the first row, “ I have so much power over her… and I don’t even need to touch her. I can stare at her, make her feel uncomfortable, undress her with my eyes… and she won’t be able to do a thing. She can shout and abuse all she wants, but I will still make her helpless… with just… my… eyes!!!” That somehow is so true. We fight throughout our lives against all kinds of biases but at the end it does come down to this…

What is more frustrating is how we are parented. Girls are educated in what the society terms as feminine graces, which is nothing but the “training” that the society has laid down for us. We are told how we should never sit without crossing our legs… how we should never laugh too loudly…. How we should always learn every household chore… if you are a boy… do you remember your parents teaching you how to respect woman? How not to objectify them? Did they ever try explaining how “she” was just another human worthy of every bit of space on earth as you? Did you too get your lessons which would turn you into a “catch” for the ladies? Did your training involve chivalry? Did you learn how not to stare or lech?


Ps : I won’t apologise for this outburst, but would like to inform my friends that I’m all fine … and it was some minor incident that sparked off that whole rant… 


2 thoughts on “Just a stare…

  1. Sayantika Adak Ghosh says:

    Like Totally … dear wifey


  2. Work Wifey says:

    Yeah .. and sometimes I really wish I had sooper powers that could turn such a staring lech into ashes just by a look…


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