Dear readers, in case you intend to watch the movie, please refrain from reading this post, as it contains a few spoilers. Sorry!!!
Cocktail is without a doubt the MOST excruciatingly boring movie I have seen in a long long LONG time… and I have seen Agent Vinod (Mind you!!!). I will agree that the songs are super cool and the only reason that I didn’t run out of the theatre screaming and beating my head, was that I wanted to watch all the songs on the big screen, especially the last one “Second hand jawani”. Although this song had no relation whatsoever to the plot or the people, it was definitely upbeat and peppy enough to help me forget the fact that I had just wasted three precious hours of my life.
The movie’s start was pointless… the story was quite ridiculous and old fashioned. I mean haven’t we all been through that phase in Bollywood when these kind of stereotypes were in? The vamp, the sati savitri? The typical betty-veronica confusion? Quite predictable I must say. It was actually sad to see that after the recent strong roles of women portrayed onscreen, Bollywood suddenly regressed back into the age old good girl versus bad girl plot. The entire story played out on the screen as someone’s home movie. I just didn’t feel involved, like I didn’t find myself wondering what would or could happen next. Like the last movie I saw – gangs of wasseypur which managed to keep me on the seat’s edge.
Coming to the actors, well saif can neither dance nor act, I seriously wonder what keeps him in business. Deepika was definitely better than her last movies but was still not good enough. I don’t even want to comment on the newcomer. It was such a hotch-potch of plots… the Casanova boy ( oh k!!! MAN…), the typical indian girl who wouldn’t even wear sleeveless dresses and is the proper damsel-in-distress types, and of course the completely wild but good at heart gal who can easily be equated to a Sl*t . and then ofcourse the finale when the guy conveniently falls in love with the good girl after having all the fun with the bad one. Bollywood couldn’t get obvious than this!!! So there was a wild affair, cheesy pick ups, sad helpless soul, live in relationship, dysfunctional friendships … all mixed up to prepare the perfect “cocktail” (or as Sheldon would say, a COCKamanny TALE).
It did manage to provide such good laughs but even that was due to mostly slapstick, in-you-face humour. Nothing subtle or straight faced (the likes of which we find in dil chahta hain or even Gangs of wasseypur). I did laugh … hard… cause trust me that was the only way I could keep myself entertained. I laughed a little at the stupid sense of humour, then I laughed a little at the thought that I was actually laughing… and then a little harder at my laughing at it and so on it went till I was laughing my head off at god knows what ( duh… I just can’t stop laughing when I start).
Looking back, i really wonder what made me watch the movie? it might have been about the songs… and the fact that my life’s pretty much in a rut right now… but after watching it I actually found even waxing less painful (seriously… there were times in the movie… when i had the urge to scream… go on say it… stop beating around the bush!!!)
The ultimate proof of its inaneness is the fact that my brother who watches every crappy hindi movie and found Agent Vinod an awesome effort by Bollywood(BOOOOO), found “Cocktail” an utter piece of crap! He is the kinds who would watch every Bollywood flick and also appreciate it. 20 minutes into the movie, he was all ready to pack up and leave… now that surely tells you something about the movie, doesn’t it?
On a serious note : please don’t watch it!