One of the books I am reading now asks a very deep question, “what is it about marriage that makes it possible for a man and a woman to mesh their lives, dreams and even their thoughts in such a complete fashion?”.
When I was about to get married I was as excited as I was stressed about sharing a house with another person . Since we had had the shortest courting period before he popped the question, and half the time after our engagement I was away at college, I was really looking forward to being with him for the whole day, week after week… month after month.
But the other, control freaky side of me kept nudging me about the fact that I would have to share my space with another person. I had been staying on my own without parents, siblings or even boyfriends to invade my space for nearly ten years before I finally met the man of my dreams. I had gotten used to having my way and doing my stuff in my place. Forget sharing hopes and dreams, I was seriously more concerned about sharing my bed and my stuff with this person.
I used to sleep in the most bizarre manner… I would start out in a normal manner and somehow manage to tour the entire bed during my sleep and then end up in some weird corner when I finally awoke. I hated sharing my deo… or my soap… I never even shared my laptop with anyone. You might call me selfish… I call it “My Space”.
So when I finally set up our first home with my hubby, it was quite an adjustment. Thank god for the love that entwined us, I was able to compromise, adjust without cribbing about it much. He is of course the perfect angel and is the most accommodating person I have ever met. He not only puts up with my tantrums but manages to pamper me too.
Along the way, during the last two years, we have both gone through a lot of changes. I have become more feminine… (yes dear friends… I wear dresses now). I have not become all that patient, but at least I have learnt to bite my tongue before yelling out some utter nonsense in anger. I have learnt to let go of control in a lot of matters where he has taken over. Slowly we have figured out our own little territories. and although we often visit each other’s spaces, we are more than sensible never to outstay any invitation…
A very sweet rhythm has developed between the two of us. We finish each other’s sentences, move around and work in perfect sync (I boil the water, he dips the tea bag…). At times if I could just step out of my body and float above, what I would witness would be the perfect symphony of love.
For the last month and a half, he has been away on work and I miss him. I miss his crooked smile, I miss his interfering ways which would lend us the reason for the daily fight I love to get into, I miss his sarcasm and the apologies for it…
And now I know what the book was talking about. Maybe its marriage, maybe its love that has us and our loves enmeshed so perfectly… whatever it is, I thank my lucky stars to have Tank in my life every single day… Love ya….