Readers who have been following my posts, would realise from the title that this is a post under the very famous (of course… it is famous :P), thread of “Joys of being a B*tch”. JBB (or as it is better known as the Joys of being a B*tch) is a collection of nasty retrospection/inspection of others. We (My work wifey NR and I) believe that talking unnecessary nasty things about people who we hate, who Pi** us off without any reason… or the ones who are a wee bit different than us, serves as a great way to de-stress and entertain ourselves. In other words, these are the basic b*tchy posts that I write to crib about all the non-sense happening in my office space. Of course from time to time I shall extend this courtesy to other spheres of my life and be really really nasty about things, people and places :). Why??? cause I can!!!
We mostly stick to making fun people we know or have met. But we do make sure that they are really worth all the nastiness. (No harmless and nice people are hurt in the course of these sessions).
So here I was, two whole months into my joblessness… err… Unemployed-ness, getting utterly bored out of my very skin and looking for a job… quite desperately (if I may use that term). So when I received a call from a CEO (imagine!!!) of a nearby Five star Hotel, I kinda jumped at the opportunity. After one interview, came a very very generous offer and I took it up. What I never knew was I was literally following the trail to hell itself.
Here are a few drops of precious insight about really bad working places (Somehow I have a knack of getting into these places. Maybe researchers should use me to identify such places!!!)
- My subordinate joined about 2 weeks after I joined. Although I was new to the industry I had picked up stuff (After all I have an MBA you know!!!). After hours of induction, she still hadn’t picked up the tiniest of details. The heights was when I received a call from her during my sales rounds. After disconnecting the call several times( since I was busy… duh!!!), her msg “Call me urgently’ finally caught my attention and I excused myself from the meet imagining the worst possible scenario.
She responded to my call with a cry of glee… and in the same breath asked me the question which was more important than any sales calls. “Hey I received your induction report but I didn’t understand the mail”. While I was trying to remember the contents of my oh-so-confusing mail, she continued, “What do you mean by FYI… is it some kind of report???”
I guess I shall rest my case here since no words can EVER describe the plethora of emotions I went through after that question.
My advice to her : sweetheart if you do not understand FYI even after spending 4 years in an engineering college and 2 in a software dev firm, you should seriously take a chagda… drive to the shela lake… and DIE I tell you… DIE!!!
- My manager, had this pretty awesome sounding accent (from some place) and without even asking, he gave me an entire run down about his life story. He expressed how overjoyed he was to meet someone in this godforsaken place who had an intellect like him… I too agreed to this since in this so called 5 star, a person who could put together a grammatically correct statement is considered to be god.
My dream of having “intellectual” conversations pretty much hit the end of the road when he asked me “What exactly is a blog? Does it have anything to do with Online CVs?”
Dear “Mate”… maybe you could trade some of your fake accent with something called “Brains”. Though your totally-fake accent might be enough to divert people’s attention from your dumbness, it will soon wear off. What is interesting is how your english has such a strong accent but the moment you open your mouth to speak telugu, it suddenly vanishes.
- This same manager has a strong feminine gene in him. like a… actually there’s nothing and nobody I can relate him to since such a dirty minded person doesn’t really exist, not in my dictionary atleast. So he would go around, bitch about everyone to everyone… Do you really think we are stupid? Maybe we do not have your awesome accent, but we do have brains. and as easy as it is to see through that bullshitty facade of yours, it is easy to talk to each other and figure out the rat.
- Oh then there was BOSS of them all. I seriously would like to have an entire post to write about him and his absolutely out of this world nature. His Managing style is unique too.He micro manages with a twist. A power and control hungry man, he loves to play everyone against everyone just to be on top of everything. On top of it, every time I would take work matters to him, I would have to be an audience to his life story spiced with all his SE* escapades and wild adventures. He would hover around trying to get me to be pally with him. The “Professional” line was imaginary to him and so was the fact that he was my boss and not my peer.
Being a married working woman is hard in itself, top that with the fact that your right to gossip gets seized, the right to dress up vanishes into thin air and you have to be at the mercy of a lowly employee who has been hired for nothing more than her looks. I am just thankful that I got out of it at the right time…
Somehow my working life has been really rough. Its almost like I am magnet attracting all the worse bosses in the world. Like I have some neon light flashing on my head and it attracts all kinds of bugs to me…!!!