Here’s a sneak-peak into my.. errr… “A” typical work place.
– There’s a wild rush amongst certain ladies who NEVER EVER make it on time to swipe in and invariably end up losing their leaves.
– This wild rush is then followed by a very amusing victory dance which involves a lot of high pitched screaming and hopping around on bloody stilettos
– Here comes the rush again darting towards the only two swipe doors, trying to JUST make it in time
– This again is followed by asking around for time
– Once the “Official” lateness is established by confirming the time from the system( which is always wrong), this group of people quickly open up the attendance portal online to calculate the number of leaves they have had to sacrifice
– The pantry is like a waterhole in the jungle.
– It attracts every normal, weird and totally abnormal person around the office
– Now this too has a pattern… the only animals… errr… I mean colleagues of mine who are enticed by the pantry are the ones from Wing 1 (the distinction between the two wings will follow soon)
– Once these exotic creatures ( I don’t mean animals… just exotic…) settle down at their tables… they start their totally nonsensical ritual of stuffing their faces, pretend crying, baby talking and high fiving…
– Of course the first thing they do is the air smooching which is so very typical of the “High” Society they supposedly belong to.
12: 15 pm
– The day finally dawns for these pretty pretty people and they finally turn their attentions away from their nail paint shades to try and see how it looks on the key board! ( as in their fingers while typing…)
– The only people you’ll see running around, doing all the errands or making all the calls will be the so called management trainees, interns or housekeeping fellas… yeah that’s the level of management trainees out here
Scenes through the day
– One exec walks around strutting his HUGE backside in the most tight and uncomfortable looking pair of denims only to be called “Cool”!!!
– Another one walks around in the world’s highest heels so that she can still look down at people despite her height of 4 feet
– There would the one odd secretary who would be fighting with some random person over the phone in totally ungrammatical English
– Some other exec who would crack unnecessary PJs so loudly over his phone calls that it would not only shatter the silence of the place but also rattle your soul from the core
– The GGG (Group of giggly gals) would be at it (giggling) throughout the day. Kudos to this group for the sheer ability they display by giggling at every F*&#ing thing in the world
– And lets not forget the ever present group of people who have a very very strong accent from some godforsaken land they have probably never ever heard of.
– There definitely is the odd group who dress up in normal human clothes and stand out as the barren land in the midst of amazon jungles
– And the one big office bitch who simply loves to criticize everybody around (:P)
– The 600th smoke break has been taken
– An assortment of snacks have been ordered and successfully devoured
– The entire work of the day has been beautifully delegated to the lesser mortals aka “management trainees” around
– As the trainees start to wrap up for the day, the bosses suddenly remember some or the other mammoth task which JUST has to be done right away, even if they have no importance whatsoever
Point to be noted
• Anybody leaving at 6:30pm(official time out) is considered to be chilling out in the office and extra care is taken to make sure that they are occupied with some useless and completely meaningless task which tethers them to their desks at least till 10 pm
• People are extremely competent in staying till the wee hours of dawn without really doing anything more than impressing their bosses about their dedication to work. If any sane boss happens to check their screens they would understand how the internet usage in the office has spiked up
• Everybody working here climbs the corporate ladder very ritually. They start at the bottom, printing labels and mailing direct mailers by thousands and finally reach the top where they get to “Manage” the printing of labels and mailing of couriers!!!
Random incidents that liven up the place
– When the famous GGG spends exactly 3 hrs and 27 minutes “ooh” and “aah” ing the latest stiletto
– The Phoren return tries to speak hindi
– The manager (who’s learnt every self help and managerial book by rote) suddenly slips up and speaks in the most dehati way possible
– When the same guy calls himself “cool”
– When the odd gal flaunts her pretty salwars and earns disgusted looks from every mini skirted female in the place
*** The aforementioned events and people are purely a part of my imagination, any person who finds resemblance to themselves or people they know, need to stop reading my blog as it might be affecting their brain cells adversely. And NO, they cannot sue me for that cause I’m just an over-imaginative child who loves to write stories…