My worst nightmare? To go back in time when I was the shy demure girl whose life revolved around her books, studies and her dance training. My school days were not bad but my social life was … nonexistent! And by the usual high school terms, I was the “geek”. My introvert nature didn’t really help matters either. I didn’t hang out with friends or party till late, nor did I have a boyfriend or any interest in the usual girly things. I didn’t miss much as I was quite content with just my novels and my dancing. But it was nightmarish all the same. The thought of crossing that bus stop filled with giggling contemporaries was terrible enough to make me go around the building to take the rear entrance.
I wasn’t scared of them or self-conscious… I was just clueless about why I was considered different and hated that I was the odd one out. College happened on the way, where people loved and cherished me for what I was… a typical tomboy who had no feminine interests whatsoever… My first job stint did have a calming effect on me and I gained a few feminine charms… nothing over the top but I could now walk in high heels and put together a decent ensemble which looked feminine and graceful without smothering myself in layers of “Pink”!!!
So here I was… two years after an exciting time at a B school, all ready to dive back into the corporate world. I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to bear all kinds of girliness and pinkness around ‘cause in the corporate world, everybody’s highly professional with very few reflections or residuals of their personal lives. And then I stepped into my new office. The first lecture my mentor gave me was how I was supposed to wear something “preetttty” every day with a good amount of makeup and accessories… because we’re in the “Fashion industry”!!!
The feeling I suffer through the whole day while in office can be well described through a single reference to Anne Hathway in “The devil wears prada”. I am definitely way out of my league as every other person(read Girl) here is thin, fair, pretty and with a head full of pink bubbles!!! They are highly fashion conscious and can spend a minimum of three hours screaming, giggling and sighing over … a pair of … HEELS!!! The others who have not been graced in the “beauty” department make up for it through loud accessories and vibrantly coloured denims… some of them wear colours which I don’t even have a name for.
I have learnt how to use the “F” word in the prettiest way, the way you need to wear your belt above ur denim and how exactly to scrunch… or is it crunch…. Well whatever it is… its done to ones’ hair!!! I am given dirty glances every day when I wear pretty salwar kameez or cargos with a loose T… I am atleast proud that I finally can generate “gossip”!!! My low point??? When I heard this one air head scream at the IT guy because her PC was slow. He quietly tried explaining that the processor was slow and that the RAM needs upgrading… the incredulously triumphant manner in which she replied “RAM??? Oh Random access memory ???” made me confused.. as to whether I should laugh at her for her awesome knowledge or myself for thinking this was a good place to work. It was definitely the day I officially realized the bimboland I had got myself recruited into.
The problem is that I am too adamant and comfortable about my dressing sense to even give a Damn about what they think… so as I continue to shock and disgust my colleagues by wearing all kinds of traditional outfits and baggy jeans and loose tops… I really really really wish god would end his big prank on me! ( ummmm maybe I will wear a traditional Bengali saree for my presentation next week…. Ooh what fun… I’ll definitely be the talk (or the “bhenji”) for the next whole year!!!)