Solitude…. the need for it!

What makes ppl want to be alone…. what makes them to become a recluse even when they have so many well wishers around…. what makes them give up on people who really care, and hide…. what drives them to treasure and cherish their life and space so much that they become selfish and even cold… what makes them run away from the very things and people that they love…

I too have been through that phase of my life when I guarded my solitude ferociously and was too proud to have ppl around.. I felt the need and the desire to be alone….I used to read… dream…. write a lot… maybe even talk to myself.. ( no ppl its not crazy.. trust me it works). I had almost a neon sign hanging over my head which read “ get lost” in bright flashy colours every time someone tried to get close…. Tired of being hurt so many times.. I thought recluse had to be the solution. The solution to escape from disappointment, heart break and probably everything bad that was happening with me…. I imagined the whole world up in arms against me.. trying to hurt me.. break me.. ruin me! And so I retreated , in a dark cave.. called solitude.

It helped.. I had more time to think abt what I wanted to do with my life.. abt how I needed to make certain changes in my life.. abt who I was.. and who I wanted to become…I took up the hobbies I had left off.. concentrated more on my career… realised how much I was lagging in my personal life… and really felt good abt myself after a long time…. It helped.. it made me see and realise things I had to.. on my own… I was able to set my life back on track… felt pampered and cared for… felt…”special” to my self…whoever said that it was possible to be feel completely loved by one’s own self, was so correct!

And now when I have re entered civilisation.. I feel rejuvenated. Its like everything’s new.. and happy and bright…. the world becomes a really wonderful place to live in once u feel good abt urself. Trust me , next time u feel dejected and hurt by the world… take some time out to be alone.. and pamper urself….get to know urself better. Rediscover the things u found pretty, the ones u wanted to do, the ones you loved watching, the ones that made u laugh….. and you’ll start noticing a refreshing change in the world around u.

So, recently when one of my friends started acting weird… I felt hurt and really depressed. But this person being of that distant sorts… was almost expected to react this way when I tried getting up and personal with him. Probably even calling him a friend was.. a bit too much of hopefulness on my part. Anyways when he finally told me how he wanted to be alone and stuff.. I hated it… But after thinking abt it. It felt so right… once I knew he planned to get back to his life.. and hobbies.. I almost smiled…. hehehe to think I was furious when I myself had done the same thing a few months back…. well that’s when I felt he was right to get his life back… I really wish him all the best : )

And to all my friends who have been hurt during that phase of my life.. I’m sorry folks! Didn’t mean it.. was just being a li’l selfish to help myself get back into the game.. this really strange and tough game.. called “life”!!!

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7 thoughts on “Solitude…. the need for it!

  1. Sinetheta says:

    @anonymous, would u be kind enough to leave ur name please….

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  2. Anonymous says:

    Hey bubbly…solitude may help u knw urselfbut life lets u b urselfits true…life is a wierd puzzlenot all pieces fall n place exactlybut u gotta play de game to get them rightsolitude leaves u behind honeyits important u keep up with de pacetryin to knw oneself retrospectively by matchin ur past with de future is kinda bein on de loosin side…life is a game yaar….jus play itat de end its not winnin but playin tat mattersgotta tel u tis…ur narration’s kinda cute…so cheers to ur work

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  3. Sinetheta says:

    hey people…. thanks a lot for ur comments 🙂 really thrilled.. but sweethearts i’m NOT depressed! i mean ya i might have taken a break from everything to reassemble a bit.. but trust me i’m ok hehehehe 🙂 and i’m as always the same old bubbly thingie u’ve all known or are yet to know 🙂

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  4. kapil says:

    hmmmm!! wonder who that person is..hehehhe!! glad u understood!! thanks!

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  5. Deepblue says:

    It seems that you have changed a lot sayantika.. Ya a person needs some time off for oneself, to rediscover, to understand that there could be a difference b/w where you want to go and where life is taking you. But not for long yaar.. I really don’t know what you have been through all these days.. but your blog has taken me through a different person. A person I never knew.. Listen sayantika, every person goes through a similar phase in life.. and its an experience which will make you a better person. I hope now you are fine.All the Best.. girl

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  6. henryswift says:

    Hey there,I know it’s been a while and your blog on solitude says a lot. Rather that’s what I have been meaning to do for quit some time and have just kept putting it off and off for a long time. You know, whenever I want to be alone, there is a voice in me that saying that if you do this, you might just be hurting some of your friends and they might not see eye to eye with you on this. Well atleast not at the moment.There was a time when I really wanted to be alone and as far as I remember, I did do that and it did give me different take onlife. Saw the things that I wanted to know, could not do, still want to do, people I want to meet, people who call themselves friends and yet are really not!… Yes I did get a lot of ‘jhatka’s’ as we might say in Hindi. But then, at times I guess that it is required to sit back and have a look at your life and reflect, to find whether or not this is the path that we were supposed to follow, has there been a wrong turn somewhere…There is always a calling to life that I am searching for. Though I have certain degree of awareness of what that is for me, but I need more information, more hints that this is what I want in life. I am not sure and I guess few are the lucky or the chosen ones who know this at an early age.Life is a quest and there is a lot to it. Many a times this gets lost in something called as “dreams vs reality”. Many a times it has happened and is still happening that I have to decide whether I want to pursue my dreams and forget about the reality that is there all around. Or, should I react to the reality and loose the drive and the touch that I had for the dream. If I follow the dream, then I will loose out on the reality which is the pathway to another dream that I have…Ain’t it a confusing affair?! Trust me, it’s all the more confusing for me. Ergo, I have been underground for quite a while and still have not been able to decide as to which direction that I want to procede. Though reality does offer better prospects, if you have read the book “The alchemist”, dreams are not something that one should forget.Anyway, enough of blogging for the timebeing…will blog later..

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  7. Aurindam says:

    Being a typical LEO-galSolitude dsnt suit you!!

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